


hockey au

by jeonkwon, peach25



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Daddy Kink, Drunk Sex, Friends With Benefits, Grinding, JFC, Like really slow, M/M, Making Out, Rivals, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slurs, Soonhoon - Freeform, Wet Dream, angsty teenage boys, eventually, i know nothing of hockey, idek anymore, implications of homophobia, more like enemies with benefits???, the last time i played a sport was in eighth grade, thigh riding, this is all trin's fault fyi, we're heading straight down to hell on skis, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-09-02 11:26:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 19,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8665849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonkwon/pseuds/jeonkwon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/peach25/pseuds/peach25
Summary: It's a fact of life.Grass is green, the sky is blue, Kwon Soonyoung and Lee Jihoon hate each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: neither of us know anything about hockey, so if we define a term wrongly, or if a certain event doesn't ever occur in the rink/practice, let us know! comments and kudos give us writing motivation!

It’s a well-known fact of life.

The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Lee Jihoon and Kwon Soonyoung hate each other.

(Mingyu calls it repressed love, but no one listens to him anyway, so.)

It's 9 pm on Monday night, the whole team finishing up drill practice in the rink. Normally, Soonyoung would be laughing and enjoying himself, skating figure eights and messing around but he’s just about had it with Jihoon, his face flushed from the cold and barely contained anger.

Said boy skates past him to the exit, ramming into Soonyoung viciously, sending him flying toward the plastic siding for the sixth time that night.

“Whoops,” Jihoon mutters, not looking back.

Soonyoung seethes, picking himself off the ground before following Jihoon out and into the locker rooms.

“Bitch, what the _fuck_ is your problem?” Soonyoung snarls, grabbing onto his teammates shirt collar, shoving him against the lockers with a slam.

Jihoon growls. “Your face is my problem, Kwon.”

Soonyoung wants to laugh. “What the fuck?”

“...skating around like you own the damn rink, God, you suck at hockey, why are you even on the team-”

“-listen, you piece of shit, I work harder than you do, you always show up late and look like you're half dead-”

“-so arrogant and cocky wish I could wipe that stupid grin off your face, bet you'd probably cry you fucking wimp-”

They're screaming at each other, yelling so loud it hurts. The noise echoes around the deserted locker room, and somewhere amidst the haze of red that muffles everything except the boy in front of him, Soonyoung can heat soft footfalls as their teammates rush to see what’s happening.

“-join the fucking figure skating team, you faggot, you even look like a fairy-”

Jihoon looks downright murderous at that, fist coming out of nowhere and smacking against Soonyoung’s jaw with a solid cracking sound.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Soonyoung grins around the blood between his teeth. “You wanna fight, little fairy?”

Seungcheol gets to them first, hands yanking the two boys apart from where they're fighting, fists and legs flying everywhere.

“STOP!” Seungcheol yells, glaring. “What's going on?”

Jihoon spits, lips curling in disgust. “He called me a faggot.”

Soonyoung grinds his teeth, pearly white little things clicking in the silence. “He kept trying to hurt me during practice.”

Seungcheol sighs. “Suspension from practices, both of you. One week. Learn how to behave, please. Or I’ll have to cut you both from the team.”

The two boys nod. “Fine,” they chorus in unison.

Seungcheol lets them go, eyeing them warily before leaving, shooing the rest of the team out the doors.

Jihoon grins. “See you later, _Kwon_.”

“Likewise, _Lee_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek i wrote this in ten minutes oh well


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the team huddles for a pep talk on the day’s upcoming grueling practice, Jihoon takes the time to write in big and bold letters across his notebook, _Go home, fucker._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was super fun to write lol

Soonyoung is suspended from practice for a week but that doesn’t mean he’s excused from them. Instead of skating around in the rink, laughing at Wonwoo who trails behind Mingyu and bends down to pick up every single piece of gear that the taller drops as he tries to warm-up and dress at the same time, he sits on the left side of the players’ benches. Across the sheet of ice is none other than Lee Jihoon, on one of the penalty benches, because they both knew they wouldn’t be able to sit within a ten feet radius of each other without attempting to kill the other, and they knew what Seungcheol meant by when he exploded at them yesterday. They knew very well from the first time it happened. 

(“You both are suspended from practice, but that doesn’t mean you just go home and slack off. You’ll come here, and sit in the stands to watch us. Analyze while reflecting on the actions that you took upon your own _teammates_ ,” Seungcheol gives pointed looks at the bruises on their knuckles and busted lips, “We’re a team, for god’s sake. Whatever you two have against each other, figure it out outside of the rink. I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior during our time together, whether that be practices or games, do you understand?”

Both Soonyoung and Jihoon exchange glares and stay silent. It’s suffocating because he can’t talk back to their captain. White noise rings in Soonyoung’s ears as he plays with the gum wrapper in his pocket. In his peripheral vision, Jihoon is taking a swig from his water bottle and uses it as an excuse to face away from Soonyoung. 

“Do you understand?” Seungcheol asks again, but louder.

Soonyoung runs his tongue along his lips in annoyance, head tilted down. Jihoon rolls his eyes and looks at the pile of equipment in the corner to avoid Seungcheol’s gaze. “Yes, sir.”)

The width of the rink and its plexiglass shieldings don’t stop them from sending each other unkind gestures and mouthing snide remarks as they compete in silence; whose temper will be the first to blow and march around the perimeter of the playing field in attempt to strangle the life out of the other?

As the team huddles for a pep talk on the day’s upcoming grueling practice, Jihoon takes the time to write in big and bold letters across his notebook, _Go home, fucker._

Soonyoung scoffs. Unbelievable, but he wasn’t going to just ignore it. He takes his own notebook and scribbles across the paper messily. _Who are you? Taylor Swift?_

_Shut the fuck up, Kwon._

_Make me, Lee._

Jihoon starts up in his seat, but at the same time, the team breaks with a chorused shout of encouragement and slowly, Jihoon sinks back onto the bench after flashing a tight smile at Seungcheol, who was raising a questioning eyebrow at his tense posture.

As expected in a hockey environment, it’s cold in the arena, and Soonyoung can see the breath of frustration that puffs out from Jihoon’s pale lips. He grins as he leans back into his seat. Today, he wins.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The smart thing would've been to give the goddamn puck to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this sucks???? enjoy anyway

“LEE!”

Jihoon swivels, the sound of his captain's voice catching his attention. A puck comes flying his way, and he accepts it seamlessly, dribbling it as he zigzags toward the goal.

This is what he loves to do, and Jihoon can feel energy thrumming in his veins, the harsh sound of metal cutting ice feeding his adrenaline.  
He loves it, but goddamn, Min-whatever-the-fuck is beelining toward him, he's not gonna make it-

“JIHOON!”

Jihoon scoffs, speeding up on his skates. Fucking Soonyoung. No way in hell is he gonna pass the puck to him. It'll probably go in the wrong goal. Whatever. Jihoon is fine. He just has to do a little bit of dodging. 

“LEE! GIVE THE PUCK TO KWON!”

Ignoring his captain, Jihoon just zigzags more, narrowly skating past an opponent before-

BAM.

The refs whistle cuts through the air, loud and shrill. Jihoon winces, tries to get up. His head hurts. Someone comes up to him, ice flakes flying from the ground and sprinkling onto his pink cheeks as they skid to a halt.

“Get up.”

Soonyoung. Of course.

Jihoon stands, picking up his stick and frowning. “I’m fine.”

Soonyoung glares, unhappy and pissed. “You're going to cost us the game.”

Jihoon laughs, sharp and cold. “No, that's on your lack of ability.”

“Excuse me?”

Soonyoung steps closer, so Jihoon does the same. God, he hates him so much.

“Didn't you hear me? I said-”

“I heard you,” Soonyoung spits.

Jihoon sneers, skating up to his teammate until they're eye to eye, helmets clashing. “Are you deaf as well as stupid? Jesus Christ.”

“I was wide open,” Soonyoung hisses, eyes narrowed and deadly. “The smart thing would've been to give the goddamn puck to me.”

Jihoon smirks. “Was afraid you’d score in the wrong goal, Kwonnie.”

Soonyoung growls. “Don't fucking call me that.”

Jihoon grins wickedly, a challenge. “What’re you gonna do about it, big boy?”

They're causing a scene.

The two of them are in the middle of the ice rink, head to head and glaring. The tension is palpable and dangerous, makes everyone hold their breath until Seungcheol speeds out onto the ice, exasperated.

“Jihoon, are you okay?” he asks, patting the boy down to check for broken bones.

Jihoon swats him away, staring hard at Soonyoung. “‘M fine. Just sore.”

Seungcheol nods, glancing Jihoon over again before being a hundred percent satisfied that he really is okay. Seungcheol signals the referee, giving the two a final warning look. They look at the ground, faces carefully blank as their leader leaves.

The whistle blows again and both teams spill out of their respective sidelines, sticks smacking the ground sharply.

“You're pathetic,” Soonyoung snarls at Jihoon, eyes blazing.

“Bite me, Soonyoung.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes and skates toward the rest of their team, but not before throwing a scathing look over his shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon closes his eyes and curses Kwon Soonyoung to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this series is going somewhere, we promise

Soonyoung looks so fucking stupid right now, pressed up against the window on the bus, arms crossed as he looks out the window, hair in disarray because he never bothered to fix it after taking his helmet off. Once the match had ended, Seungcheol dismissed the team to the bus, while staying behind to scold them. Jihoon snorts, because Soonyoung was acting like a child, stomping his feet and pointing fingers at Jihoon. He does admit Seungcheol was stepping over the line as a team leader, confiscating their phones and forcing them to sit next to each other on the bus, his “get-along-shirt” punishment adjusted for tonight’s setting. 

The team is loud, unlikely for them after losing a match, but Jihoon knows it’s because they’re preparing for the worst. The two members with the worst temperament, who hate each other, have been seated side-by-side for the two-hour ride back to their city. But hell, just because Jihoon’s sitting next to Soonyoung, doesn’t mean he’ll talk to him. Not after what happened today. 

Without Minghao to converse with, the only person Jihoon can tolerate really, and without any music, he starts to nod off. When Jihoon’s head hits Soonyoung’s shoulder, it startles the latter, and immediately, his reaction is to shrug him off. Just as he does so, the driver steps on the brakes and Jihoon’s forehead collides against the seat in front of him. Soonyoung snorts a laugh, while Jihoon fumes in embarrassment. “Shut the fuck up, Kwon.” He hisses. 

Soonyoung sticks out his tongue, tone mocking as he speaks. “Does your pretty little face hurt, princess? I’m sorry, I should have let you continue sleeping.” 

“Call me that again and I’ll punch your throat in.” Jihoon growls, hand grasping at Soonyoung’s collar. Soonyoung doesn’t flinch. Instead, he taunts. “Why, Hoonie? Do you not like it when you’re being belittled? So much anger in such a small body I-”

“You’re really asking for it, aren’t you?” Jihoon interrupts, jackets scuffling against each other as he moves to raise a fist. 

“Lee!” Seungcheol barks, eyes sharp as he warns him. “I put you two together to try and get along, not to argue again.”

Soonyoung smirks, “Looks like I win today too.” Then, just to spite Jihoon, pinches his cheek, “Catch up, baby.”

Jihoon closes his eyes and curses Kwon Soonyoung to hell. 

It doesn’t satisfy him, so he opens his eyes, and stands. “Sorry, Seungcheol, but I have to.” He says loudly as he eyes Soonyoung. The members are all looking at him as he steps back into the aisle, and then, a chorus of “oh’s” and “holy fuck’s” erupt as Jihoon throws a fist at Soonyoung’s jaw. 

Behind him, Junhui grabs Jihoon by his shirt and yanks him back while poor Mingyu is pushed between the two shouting boys, cussing when Soonyoung ends up kicking his leg instead of Jihoon’s flailing ones. Soonyoung is pushing to get at Jihoon, yelling at him even as Seungcheol holds him back. “Can we not get one day where you two are always breaking into fights?” He shouts.

“Not when that fucker keeps calling me pet names.” Jihoon spits, twisting in Junhui’s hold.

“Does it bother you, _Hoonie_?” Soonyoung goads, wiping his lip to check for blood. Jihoon’s a little disappointed his punch didn’t draw any.

“Try me again, _Kwonie_.”

“If you insist, babe. You just can’t keep your hands off me, can you?” Soonyoung juts his jaw out jeeringly and taps his cheek, “C’mon, come give me another hit.”

“Enough,” Seungcheol flicks Soonyoung’s forehead. “Jihoon, get your ass back into this seat and apologize to each other.”

With a hand on his shoulder, Seungcheol pushes Jihoon back into the seat he had been previously occupying. Again, like a child, Soonyoung crosses his arm, tugging his hood up and leaning against the window, refusing to speak, much less look in his direction. For the rest of the ride, they stay silent, pride too big to mutter a single word of apology to the other.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...we're still teammates, so I have to care about you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [distant screaming]

Jihoon regrets. So much.

It's currently ten in the evening, the bitter cold of December slicing through his flimsy excuse of a coat as he trudges down the road that leads from the training center to the highway. It's sleeting out too, to top it all off. 

He mentally curses himself for hitching a ride with Mingyu, not remembering that his friend had to leave practice early for a doctor's appointment. By the time Jihoon had made it out of the locker rooms, everyone had gone home, and his parents were probably asleep, so he'd feel bad calling them. 

He's probably going to die of hypothermia, but whatever. _Here lies Lee Jihoon, a talented hockey player, a good student and son-_

“Hey!”

Jihoon does not scream. Nor does he jump a foot in the air. Instead, he calmly turns and looks at the black truck idling on the empty road, Kwon Soonyoung leaning out the window and waving his arms.

Jihoon sighs, resigning himself to the fact that he won't leave. Might as well get this gross confrontation over with. 

“What?”

“Need a ride?”

Jihoon stares, those words the last thing he expected to come out of his teammates mouth. He eyes Soonyoung’s vehicle warily, shuffling until he's a foot away from the driver’s side. He can hear quiet music playing from inside, soft and indie, something he doesn't really associate with Soonyoung, but it's nice, he supposes.

“No,” Jihoon says, even though he wants to. “I’m not getting in your janky-ass truck.”

Soonyoung scoffs. “Don't be stupid. It's fucking 20 degrees out. All you've got on is a coat and a hat. Your fingers are gonna freeze off, and then how're you gonna hold a hockey stick?”

Jihoon shrugs, clenching his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. “I’m not gonna _freeze_.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Soonyoung mutters, hopping out of his truck before dragging Jihoon toward the passenger side. “Get in.”

Jihoon yanks himself away. “Fine, _God_. You're insufferable,” he says. “Why are you even here? Thought you left a while ago.”

“I was at the convenience store.” Soonyoung rolls his eyes, climbing back into his truck. “And listen, I might hate you with all of my being, but we're still teammates, so I have to care about you.”

Soonyoung pulls away from the shoulder and Jihoon stares at the dashboard, tense. Everything about this is weird and uncomfortable and awkward. He coughs, turns his gaze to the window instead, watching the streetlamps whiz by.

It feels like an eternity, but it's really only like fifteen minutes until Soonyoung is pulling into the parking lot by Jihoon’s apartment complex.

The two boys are quiet and still, the silence stifling and thick. Soonyoung clears his throat, and Jihoon jerks, almost smacking his head on the headrest. He flushes, quickly gathering his stray equipment.

They speak at the same time, voices forced and loud.

“So-”

“I-”

Soonyoung swallows.

Jihoon chokes out, “Thanks.”

The car door shuts.

Soonyoung watches Jihoon make his way to the door and slip inside.

He pulls out of the parking lot and heads home, the tips of his ears burning.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m! Fine!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, now this is going somewhere :) calli and i are on a roll with this series.

“I’m sick of your shit, Kwon.” Jihoon backs Soonyoung up to the lockers, whose shoulder pads clang against the metal, its echo far louder than it would be if the others were here. Soonyoung thinks it’s funny how every time they fight, everyone is gone, as if they could feel it about to happen, and escaped while they had the chance.

“Care to elaborate?” Soonyoung licks his dry lips. Where did his chapstick go? 

“You already know, Kwon,” Jihoon reaches up, finger trailing against Soonyoung’s jaw, cooing, “such a pretty face.”

Soonyoung chokes because this isn’t Jihoon’s normal behavior. Where are the snarky insults? The fist that’s always ready to say hello to Soonyoung’s face, justifying it by saying, “Your face punched my hand.”

Jihoon sinks to his knees, keeping eye contact as his hand grazes over Soonyoung’s crotch, frowning upon contact with a hard shell. “That’s disappointing, you still have your jock strap on.” He lifts the black shorts resting just above Soonyoung’s knees, clicking his tongue when it reveals another tighter layer around his thighs, “ _And your compression shorts too_.”

When arousal spins in his stomach at the sight of Jihoon before him, mouth dangerously close to his crotch, Soonyoung swallows thickly, hoping, praying this wasn’t real. It couldn’t be, because there was no way that one, Jihoon would be sucking Soonyoung’s dick without any reason, and two, there’s no way that he’d actually get hard simply because Jihoon was on his knees _pouting_ at the lack of sexual favors. 

Soonyoung wakes with a start, phone buzzing next to his pillow as his alarm goes off. He’s  
broken out into a cold sweat, and his boxers feel incredibly uncomfortable. 

When he shifts, his eyes widen because oh, _hell no_ , he did not just have a wet dream about Lee Jihoon. 

His thoughts flash back to last night when he pulled Jihoon to his car, how icy cold Jihoon’s skin was when his fingers brushed against his wrist, and how awkward they were when it was time to say goodbye. How could they know when they’ve only ever said goodbye by yelling insults at each other until they were too far apart to hear it? 

Soonyoung shuffles to the bathroom with a clean pair of underwear in hand, and stands under the spray of hot water to clear his mind. 

He’s lucky he doesn’t see Jihoon during school hours. All day long, he fidgets in his seat, worried that he’ll see the other in the halls during passing time and be reminded of what he dreamt of last night. But hockey practice? He can’t avoid that. 

Jihoon slides into the rink with ease, and Soonyoung’s on high alert when he glides by the bench, where Soonyoung is still lacing up his skates. Jihoon doesn’t pay him any attention, but Soonyoung’s eyes follow his every movement. He’s caught in a daze as he watches Jihoon’s lips part to push his mouthguard in. Swallowing thickly, he clears his throat and drops his gaze back to his skates. 

“You okay?” Wonwoo slaps Soonyoung’s shoulder, eyeing the way his cheeks are turning pink when they’ve only been in the arena for a few minutes. 

Soonyoung answers too quickly, “Yeah!”

Wonwoo is startled, leaning forward to scrutinize his teammate’s face and raising a brow. “Are you sure?”

“I’m! Fine!” His voice is higher pitched and choppy, only raising Wonwoo’s suspicions, but he lets him off with a knock to his helmet. “Alright, but let me know if you need to talk about anything.” And with that, Wonwoo slides on his own helmet and drags his stick behind him into the rink. 

Soonyoung is on fire, so he’s glad the cold air of the facility is a good enough excuse for his flushed face. 

But as Jihoon passes by again, they make eye contact, “You haven’t even done any warm-ups yet and you’re already sweating?” Jihoon mocks aloud as he skates laps on the ice. 

Soonyoung grinds his teeth together and exhales through his nose. Today was going to be a long day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "One of these days, I'm gonna ruin you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bear with me. this is so bad.
> 
> (also, shoutout to trin for being patient and awesome and kicking comp's butt. and to everyone who has left comments, kudos, and bookmarks, etc so far: thank you! we love you ♡)

All day, Jihoon’s been thinking about that stupid car ride. It’s distracting, but honestly, who knew Soonyoung could be so nice? It makes his stomach churn though, thinking that Soonyoung is, in fact, a good person.

Consequently, Jihoon acts excessively rude toward him during practice.

The only issue is, Soonyoung doesn't respond to his insults like normal. Instead he simply looks away with his teeth clenched, ignoring Jihoon. All in all, it doesn't help to ease the latter's growing frustration.

“Hit it harder! Stop being such a pussy!" Jihoon yells, watching as Soonyoung makes yet another poor attempt at goal-making. Soonyoung is one of the team’s best players, and right now, Jihoon is beyond annoyed and confused. Soonyoung never has off days.

During break, he skates off the ice and walks over to where Soonyoung is collapsed on the bench, panting.

“What the fuck is up with you tonight?”

Soonyoung makes a strangled noise, face flushing pink. “Um. Nothing. I…”

Jihoon narrows his eyes and huffs, breath curling out of his mouth like smoke. “Spit it out already, Kwon. You're not making goals, you've been tripping over your skates, and you've been looking like a lost dog ever since practice started.”

Soonyoung opens his mouth just as their captain blows his whistle, and Jihoon frowns as Soonyoung stands, adjusting his helmet.

“You’d better figure it out. _Tonight_. I’m not losing another game because of you,” Jihoon grates, voice dripping with irritation.

“Oh, shut up,” Soonyoung snaps, and Jihoon feels slightly at ease, because there was the Soonyoung he hated. Bombastic and arrogant like always. “You big baby, can't even take a loss like a man, _Christ_.”

“Fuck off,” Jihoon snarls, (only because Seungcheol threatened to lock away all of Jihoon’s equipment the next time he laid a hand on Soonyoung). His fists curl nonetheless, and he desperately wants to hit something. Preferably someone.

Soonyoung sneers, taunting. “What, you wanna go? Prove you're a man?” he hits his chest, palm smacking off his protective padding. “Come on, Lee. Hit me.”

He’s about two seconds away from saying _fuck it_ , and socking Soonyoung in the stomach like he deserves when Minghao suddenly appears out of nowhere, eyes flashing.

“Cheol is pissed,” he says, lightly. He looks at them, pretends not to feel the anger that hangs around the two players like a perpetual cloud of tension. “He wants you in the rink. Now.”

The three boys look to where their friends are huddled in front of their captain, staring at Jihoon and Soonyoung with wide eyes.

“One of these days, I’m gonna _ruin_ you,” Jihoon hisses, tense and angry.

Soonyoung scoffs. “You wish.”

Later, Jihoon whacks the puck toward Soonyoung, watching with satisfaction as it skips on the ice and slams into his tibia. Soonyoung crumples, face scrunched up in pain, and Jihoon smirks.

 

It's worth the lecture Seungcheol gives afterwards.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What was _that_?” Soonyoung repeats incredulously, “What’s with _you_? Why didn’t you do anything?”

It’s just a couple of hours after school lets out that it happens.

It’s only 5:30 in the evening, but it’s dark outside (thanks, daylight savings). Soonyoung just arrived back to school for practice, unloading his giant bag of hockey equipment, when he hears a thud. Pausing in his movements to clear his hearing, he cranes his neck back just the slightest bit to pick up any more noises. He wasn’t going to lie, he’s scared himself, but hell, it was better to be on alert earlier than later if a zombie were to start charging at him from the gates of the turf field. 

Then there’s the scuffling of jackets, a few faint slaps that sound like skin on skin. Now, Soonyoung was really suspicious, pushing his bag back into his car and shutting the door. He swipes up on his phone, tapping for the flashlight but conceals the beam against his body as he takes careful steps towards the source of noise. 

“...fucking faggot, you don’t even belong on that team.” 

“At least I didn’t try to get into the captain’s pants for a spot-”

Soonyoung’s mouth falls open. Isn’t that Jihoon’s voice?

 _Slap_. “Say it again, you fucker.”

“I said, at least I didn’t-” 

And then the sentence is cut short, and it sounds like he had the breath knocked out of him. Soonyoung moves as quickly as he can, slipping his phone into his pocket and not even bothering with turning off the flashlight. 

“What the hell is going on here?”

There are two boys, crouching as they hold Jihoon’s head up by the hair. His lip is busted, blood glistening in the moonlight, and his bruised eye blinks lazily. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing to him?” Soonyoung shouts. He’s angry, and he’s not quite sure if it’s because they’re ganging up on Jihoon, or if it’s because he’s the only one who can push Jihoon around like that.

“Oh, look at that, the princess’ knight in shining armor is here.” The taller one to the left sneers, standing to size Soonyoung up. “What are you going to-”

Soonyoung launches himself at the boy, taking him by the head and forcing him down to meet his knee. His torso follows through in its twist and his arm flies through the air, hitting the other right in the temple. His fist hurts because _shit_ , punching a face always results in some pain in return. 

It was so pathetic how quickly they lost their attitude, realizing that Soonyoung wasn’t going to tolerate them at all tonight. “Leave before I report you both for sexual harassment and assault.” He threatens.

They leave with much reluctance, muttering passive-aggressively under their breaths as they exit the scene. 

“What was that, Kwon?” Jihoon asks. He turns his head, spitting out blood before wiping the excess on his sleeve. 

“What was _that_?” Soonyoung repeats incredulously, “What’s with _you_? Why didn’t you do anything?”

Jihoon scoffs, pushing himself off the ground and stands to dust his jeans. “I couldn’t.”

He’s lying. Soonyoung is the one person who can attest to that. “Don’t lie,” he says, “You’ve got a hella good arm, I would know.”

It makes Jihoon laugh, and in return, Soonyoung smiles, but he isn’t letting him off. “Why?”

Jihoon tries to walk past him, but Soonyoung grabs hold of his arm, pushing him back. “Answer me, Lee.”

“Why what?” The shorter looks down at his feet. The once pushed-up sleeves of his jacket falls from his elbows and cover his hands to the tips of his fingers. There’s still enough light outside, making his red nose visible. In this moment, Jihoon looks incredibly vulnerable. 

“You know what I mean.” Soonyoung sighs. 

“I don’t,” Jihoon’s voice is tight. Soonyoung can expect a punch anytime soon can, but if that’s what relieves Jihoon’s stress, he'll let it pass.To instigate, Soonyoung taps him on the nose with a finger. “C’mon, Rudolph.”

“Leave me alone, Kwon.” He shoves Soonyoung’s hand away. It takes Soonyoung by surprise, and he can’t deny the jump in his heart rate when they make contact. It reminds him yet again of the night he drove Jihoon home. 

“Not till you tell me.”

“You wouldn’t want to know.” Jihoon shoves him aside and stalks toward the door of the arena. Soonyoung trails after him. He'll grab his stuff later. “But why?”

“Stop.”

“Tell me why.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Shut the fuck up, Kwon.”

“Why?”

“Are you a child, or what?”

“No, but why?”

“Because I’m fucking gay, god damn it!” Jihoon yells, whipping around, eyes watering as his fists clench by his sides. When he speaks again, his voice drops. “It’s because I’m gay. Disgusting, right? Go ahead, go tell everyone. It’s not like I give a fuck anyway.” 

It doesn’t seem believable but Soonyoung can see the way Jihoon’s delicate tears glisten on his cheeks when he turns towards the doors, and deep down inside, Soonyoung wants to wipe them away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d been skating alongside Soonyoung when the latter elbowed him hard in the ribs, shooting white-hot flares of pain up Jihoon’s torso and sending the smaller boy skidding to the side, knees buckling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this super short filler chapter. we promise it'll get worse. i mean better.

_Because I’m fucking gay, god damn it….It’s because I’m gay. Disgusting, right? Go ahead, go tell everyone. It’s not like I give a fuck anyway._

Jihoon feels sick, his stomach twisting itself into thick knots as he sets out his hockey gear. He winces when he bends down, throbbing pain shooting up his sides. He lifts up his t-shirt to assess the damage, biting his lip at the bruises he finds, bright red and swollen, spanning his entire ribcage. Dark blue blooms from the red, and he prods at the marks, hissing.

“Fuck,” Jihoon mutters. He briefly considers skipping practice, but he's never done that, and doesn't intend to start now. It's not a big deal. (It is, he's never had injuries this bad, even after fighting with Soonyoung.)

His head is still reeling, and Jihoon has to steady himself against the lockers, suddenly light-headed. He presses his forehead against the cool metal and groans, eyes scrunching tight.

 _God_ , his body hurt.

Jihoon stays like that, forehead pressed against his locker and eyes shut until someone comes in, flicking the rest of the lights on. Jihoon jolts up in surprise and accidentally twists his torso, ribs burning. He clenches his teeth to stop from crying out and tries for a smile, waving stiffly at who he thinks is Chan, scarf covering most of the person’s face.

“Hi, Jihoon.”

So Chan, then.

Jihoon smiles, but it doesn't fool him.

Chan frowns, carefully stepping closer to Jihoon. “What's up?”

 _I got jumped and beat up by homophobic assholes who think they're entitled to everything and also hate me a lot, even more than Soonyoung so now I’m in lots of pain and I think they broke one of my ribs when they were kicking me, please help, I don't think I can even stay upright, let alone skate_ , is what Jihoon wants to say. He opts to shrug, turning to rifle in his duffle bag to avoid looking at Chan. “Nothing. Just tired.”

Chan purses his lips, gaze roving over the older’s face. “If you say so,” he says slowly, like he's waiting for Jihoon to change his mind and tell the truth.

“I’ll be okay,” Jihoon replies. “Don't worry about it.”

“Just...I’m here. If you ever need to talk,” Chan murmurs. He grins, suddenly, voice teasing. “Fighting with Soonyoung probably isn't helping, you know.”

“I can't not fight with Soonyoung,” Jihoon says, like he's offended Chan would even think that. “It's in my blood to hate him. It's like he was made for me to hate him. He's arrogant and pretentious and wears fucking pink silk bomber jackets.”

 

Chan shakes his head, smiling softly as Jihoon stomps away, now more irritated than anything.

 

 

Later, in the middle of practice, Jihoon collapses at the edge of the rink, eyes glassy and unfocused. He’d been skating alongside Soonyoung when the latter elbowed him hard in the ribs, shooting white-hot flares of pain up Jihoon’s torso and sending the smaller boy skidding to the side, knees buckling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more tags are going to be added soon ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why’re you here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hockey au is not helping me finish my comp portfolio rip -calli

Everyone is shouting. Mingyu is pushing everyone back while Junhui props Jihoon’s head on his thigh. Soonyoung is in the back, completely lost as he circles around the team, trying to catch glimpses between heads. He sees Jihoon lying on the ice, eyes closed and skin incredibly pale as Seungcheol moves to help lift the unconscious boy onto Junhui’s back, (the only one who didn’t have his skates on). Soonyoung watches as they rush out of the arena and toward the school, Jihoon’s arms hanging limp at his sides. 

Seungcheol looks frenzied and distressed when he addresses the team. “Practice is canceled for tonight. I’ll update you all on Jihoon as soon as I find out what’s going on. Get home safely, everyone.” And then, he turns, skates clicking against the cement as he practically runs off the rink and toward the locker rooms. 

Later, when the team is undressing from their gear, Chan fidgets with his helmet, turning to look at Soonyoung, “Jihoon didn’t look that great earlier…” 

Soonyoung’s eyes flash. “What do you mean?”

“He was hunched over and had a hand on his stomach but he wouldn’t tell me what happened when I asked,” Chan says quietly, head down like he was ashamed, as if this was his fault. “I didn’t want to push it.”

As soon as Chan’s words leave his mouth, Soonyoung throws on his sweatshirt and slips his shoes on, dashing toward the door. It couldn’t be because of earlier, right? Jihoon looked fine aside from his bruised face, and he wasn’t limping when he walked. Soonyoung was right behind him, he would’ve seen. 

But as he exits the door, he runs right into Seungcheol who grabs him by the collar and shoves him against the wall, eyes blazing. “What the _hell_ did you do?” 

Soonyoung furrows his eyebrows, surprised and shocked.

“What-”

“Jihoon has bruises all over his torso, a fractured rib, and a possible concussion. Now _answer me_ before I end up killing you with my own hands because what the fuck were you on when you did this to him?”

Soonyoung wants to scoff. He wants to maybe give Seungcheol a good smack to the face too. Who is he, trying to place blame on him? Seungcheol doesn't know shit.

“I didn’t do anything,” Soonyoung snaps, shoving his captain’s hands off his shirt. 

“Don't lie to me,” Seungcheol snaps, his voice low. He grabs onto Soonyoung’s wrist, grip vise-like. “I don't know what sick game you and Jihoon are playing, but this? I can't let this slide, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung bites the inside of his cheek, stomach swooping with guilt even though he did nothing wrong. “You're hurting me. Let me go.”

“He's in the _hospital_. You-”

Soonyoung doesn't hear the rest of it, ripping himself away from his captain and sprinting out the door, heart thudding.

 

A few hours later he finds himself at the hospital, staring at the visitor’s sign-in sheet uneasily.

 _I’m only here to make Jihoon tell Seungcheol the truth_ , Soonyoung tells himself, picking up a pen to scrawl his name in the little box titled _Visitors_. A nurse hands him a badge, and he thanks her, clipping it onto his jacket as he heads toward the elevators.

Jihoon’s room is white and blinding. The sterile hospital smell is less thick in there, but it still lingers, cloying and fuzzy.  
There's a heart monitor beeping steadily, helping to ease Soonyoung’s nerves.

“Jihoon,” he mutters, staring at the sleeping boy. “wake up, asshole.”

Jihoon looks uncharacteristically peaceful. His eyelashes brush his cheeks as they flutter open, and for a moment, Soonyoung almost feels bad for waking him up. He waits beside the bed until the haze of sleep disappears from his teammate's eyes and coffee brown irises focus on his face.

Jihoon sits up slowly, face scrunched up in confusion and pain.

“Why’re you here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :"""") -trin


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'll do anything, Jihoon."

The fuck is Kwon Soonyoung doing in his hospital room?

Jihoon takes a few moments to collect himself, blinking to assure himself that it isn't just drugs in his system and that yes, it really is Soonyoung in the flesh. Deciding that he doesn't particularly care, Jihoon rubs at his eyes, flopping back onto the cot. Soonyoung sucks in his cheeks, shoe scuffing the ground.

“Seungcheol thinks I did...that,” Soonyoung says, gesturing to Jihoon’s bruised up body. “and he wants to suspend me from the team. Or something.”

Jihoon raises his eyebrows. That's stupid. Soonyoung is their best player. “He wants to suspend you? But you didn't-”

Soonyoung interrupts him, arms waving emphatically. “Exactly, I didn’t! Plus, you're the only person who believes me because you were the one there, so _please_ tell Seungcheol that I’m not lying.”

There’s a pause in which Jihoon grins, slow and deadly. “I kind of want to see you get gutted by Seungcheol though.”

Abruptly, Soonyoung drops to his knees, eyes a little wild. “Fuck, _please_. I want to live see another year.”

Pouting, Jihoon taps his lip with his fingertip, pretending to seriously think about his options. “Well-”

“I’ll do anything, Jihoon.”

He laughs. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Christ, you're so easy to rile up, Kwon.”

“Ah,” Soonyoung says, cheeks coloring. “Okay. Thanks.”

He turns to leave, and Jihoon frowns a little.  
“What, you're not gonna stay and keep me company?”

“Uh…” Soonyoung bites his lip, something odd flickering across his features before he shrugs indifferently, eyes closing off. “No? I mean, we're not friends? I just needed you to talk to Seungcheol so I can stay on the team.”

Irritation bubbles up in Jihoon, hot and itchy. He's too tired to argue though, opting to just sigh and agree. “Fine, whatever. I’ll talk to him. Promise.”

“Okay. See you,” Soonyoung says, and then he exits without so much as a backwards glance.

Some weird, repressed part of Jihoon wants him to stay, but he blames it on exhaustion and hospital drugs. He _hates_ Soonyoung. It doesn't make sense that he wants the other boy to share his cot and lay with him and maybe k-

No. He hates Kwon Soonyoung. That's all there is to it.

Jihoon rolls over and goes back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao we promise the good stuff is coming guys... .


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon laughs, cold like steel. “Fuck you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 -calli

Soonyoung secretly wishes Jihoon’s annoying ass was still back in the hospital. 

They’re at practice, and even though Jihoon isn’t in the rink, skating way too close just to irritate him, he’s just as maddening.

Just as he’s about to shoot, a voice screams, “Kwon, watch out!”

Soonyoung whips around, stick hitting the puck in the wrong direction. He tenses, expecting someone to come crashing into him. Instead, all he gets is a cackle of laughter. He grits his teeth, turning back around.

Just as he’s about to take a quick breather, someone comes up to him, blocking his path. “I don’t think you can pass up any more practice time babe, your shots are getting worse each day.”

Just as Soonyoung’s about to snap Jihoon’s neck in half, the boy steps away, pouting.

“Can’t touch me, babe, I’m too sore.” Jihoon rubs his sides exaggeratedly , setting anger boiling in Soonyoung’s chest.

Jihoon has been on Soonyoung’s nerves all week, and Soonyoung can’t do anything about it because Jihoon is still in “so much pain,” and if Seungcheol catches Soonyoung with one hand on him, he’ll literally get kicked off the team by Seungcheol’s foot up his ass. 

It’s been tolerable. Soonyoung blames it on the frustration that comes from being cooped up. Every time Jihoon provokes him, all he does is flip him off, or ignore him completely.

The number of crescents that are practically imprinted in the skin of his palm is proof of just how much Soonyoung is holding himself back. 

But today, Jihoon’s been pressing buttons all practice long. 

Seungcheol’s allowing him to skate around, so long as he has some protective gear on and stays out of the way of others. He’s slowly getting back into the routine of practice.

Soonyoung calls bullshit and suspects favoritism but he lets it slide only because Wonwoo is pressing a hand against his mouth, sporting a nervous smile when their captain catches his name and “fucking piece of shit” in the same sentence. 

Jihoon grazes against Soonyoung as he skates by, pushing a little too hard and sending Soonyoung sprawling against the ice as he zooms onward.

“Should watch where you’re going, Kwon.”

From across the rink, Seungcheol warns, “Watch it, Soonyoung.” 

Soonyoung bites hard on his lower lip, taking in a deep breath to calm himself, and exhales slowly, blowing on his bangs. His skin is crawling with desire to punch the boy in the face, and oh boy, is he going to be happy when Jihoon can’t hide behind the excuse of an injury anymore. Even so, he has to be careful, because he knows Seungcheol’s eyes are on him and every move he makes around Jihoon. 

In the locker room, Jihoon purposefully sits on the bench near Soonyoung, moving closer and “accidentally” pushing his things to the floor. 

Jihoon sucks on his teeth, adopting a disappointed expression. 

“You should be a little more organized, Kwonnie. This is why you’re always the last one out the door.”

He gets up to his feet, peering into his teammate’s locker. “And clean out your locker,  _ Christ _ , it smells like ass in there.” 

“You would know.” Soonyoung scoffs. 

The air is suddenly stale, and Soonyoung pauses mid-action as he realizes his mistake. With wide eyes, Soonyoung shakes his hands in defense. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, I swear-”

Jihoon laughs, cold like steel. “Fuck you.”

His smile is gone, and his eyes are deadly, presence a lot bigger than his actual being. Soonyoung would be lying if he said he wasn’t a  _ little _ scared.

“You know, maybe I should have just told Seungcheol it was you. That way, I wouldn’t have to see your face everyday.” Jihoon’s lips curl, “I could just go tell him right now, lie to him and say you threatened me again.” 

Okay, now Jihoon is  _ really _ pushing it. He really hadn’t meant what he said, it came out naturally, just as everything else does when he’s around Jihoon.

“Look, I didn’t mean it-”

“You have no right to say that to me-”

“I really didn’t!”

“Shut the hell up, Kwon, don't lie.” 

“I didn’t fucking-”

“-you’re a real asshole, you know that?”

“I’m trying to apologize!”

“I don’t want your apology,” Jihoon spits. “You better not think you can use that as a way to blackmail me because guess what? I don’t fucking care.” 

Jihoon keeps on rambling, voice loud, and Soonyoung is suddenly very tired of everything. It’s late, nearly half past ten, and he wants to go home, but Jihoon just won’t shut  _ up _ .

“...I have shit against you too, don’t think I’m stupid, Kwon. I’ve been piling blackmail against you since September, so think twice before you even dare spreading any shit about me.”

Soonyoung wants to laugh, because Jihoon just said he didn’t care.

“I’m observant, you know? I can read your every movement and know what you’re thinking. You’re like an open book, Soonyoung. So easy to read.” Jihoon shakes his head in disgust.

He really wants to shut Jihoon up with a good punch to the face, but he can’t. A school suspension follows Soonyoung around like a grey cloud, threatening to rain as soon as Soonyoung’s temper explodes. Jihoon is still talking and now, Soonyoung’s ears are ringing. He really wants Jihoon to just shut his mouth so they can both go home and get some shut-eye. He’s tired of fighting, of exchanging words like knives when fists don't do enough.

“Glad I’m not like you because  _ shit, _ if I was-”

Soonyoung leans over the bench, hooking a finger under Jihoon’s chin to tilt his head up and presses their lips together. Jihoon’s lips are soft and cold, tasting faintly of vanilla that must have been from his lip balm he put on earlier. The shorter stammers as he rips away and stares at Soonyoung with wide eyes, mouth open in shock. 

Soonyoung rolls his eyes despite the way his stomach somersaults. “You wouldn’t stop-”

And then Jihoon is lunging across the bench, forcing them to stumble backwards until Soonyoung’s back collides painfully against the metal, a lock digging into the space between his shoulderblades as Jihoon pushes against him. His lips coax Soonyoung’s to open, move, do  _ anything _ , and he’s so incredibly good at it that Soonyoung barely notices the scratch of nails through his shirt when Jihoon grips onto the cotton. 

Soonyoung’s mind is in a frenzy, trying to make sense of what was actually happening, but it was so hard to concentrate when Jihoon’s mouth was getting more urgent with each passing second.

Then, Jihoon pulls away, and when his eyes open, they’re watery and scared. He releases his hold on Soonyoung’s shirt and steps back, eyes on the ground as he chokes out a broken, “I’m sorry,” and runs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /scandalous gasp/ -trin


	13. Chapter 13

Jihoon forces himself to make it into his room before he collapses, blinking away tears. What the _hell_ was he thinking, kissing Soonyoung like that?

He curls up onto his bed, and stares up at the ceiling as he tries to sort through the mess of thoughts that occupy his head.

 _I don't like him_ , Jihoon thinks stubbornly. And it's still true. In spite whatever happened, he still wants to strangle Soonyoung. Even the thought of him makes his lip curl.

 _But you kissed him back_ , a tiny voice in his head whispers. _So you must like him_.

Jihoon groans, burying his face in his pillow, mind racing. No, he hates him. Liking Soonyoung would go against everything Jihoon has stood for during his entire high school career. He can't want to kiss his sworn enemy, what kind of fucked up logic is that? He can’t. It's not in the rules. Even though Soonyoung is lean and strong with cute cheeks and thick thighs and nice back muscles and honey-tinted skin-

 _Okay_ , he amends after a moment. So maybe he does like Soonyoung’s _body_. He’s attractive. And Jihoon is an eighteen year-old boy, he has _needs, goddammit_. So what, maybe he wants to make out with his teammate and established enemy. It's not that big of a deal, right? (It is.)

“Well,” Jihoon mutters to himself, voice occupying his dim bedroom. “He kissed me first.”

He relaxes a bit at that, breathing a little easier. It's not the end of the world. And it's not like it's a secret that he's gay. Soonyoung knows, and Jihoon isn't dead, so. Just gotta look on the bright side.

Sighing, Jihoon rolls over, eyes slipping closed. Despite himself, the memory of Soonyoung kissing him resurfaces, fresh and crystal clear.

Jihoon shivers, biting his lip. He had wanted Soonyoung to keep kissing him, and a pang of disappointment slices through Jihoon chest at the thought that they could probably still be kissing if he hadn't pulled away.

Soonyoung’s mouth was soft, plush and sweet like he'd been eating a hard candy, and _goddamn_ the visual of Soonyoung sucking on candy should not be sending a ripple of heat through Jihoon’s stomach. He still can't believe he knows what Kwon Soonyoung’s mouth feels like. 

Unfortunately, once his mind starts, Jihoon can't stop the thoughts that flicker through his brain. After a torturous moment, he muffles a frustrated groan into his pillow, cursing internally at whatever deity decided it would be funny to make Jihoon want to dick down his teammate. The person he was supposed to _hate_.

Soonyoung probably thought he was disgusting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why are all my chapters so short jfc sorry


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back

Every time Soonyoung shuts his eyes, the vision of Jihoon with mussed hair and pink, pouty lips swims behind his eyelids. It's distracting, and not at all helping him go to sleep. Not to mention the fact that huh, yeah, Soonyoung _voluntarily_ kissed a boy. He had wanted to, nevermind the fact that he hates Jihoon.

His head hurts.

A fresh wave of panic sweeps over his body, tensing his muscles and making him choke a little.

_Oh god. Did I step over a boundary?_

After a second, he laughs out loud, a strange gurgling sound, verging on hysterics.

_No fucking shit, Soonyoung. You kissed him. That's overstepping like, a million boundaries. Better pack your bags now, ‘cause Lee Jihoon is gonna come for your gay ass._

Soonyoung furrows his eyebrows. Is he gay, though? He kissed Jihoon (oh, god), but he still likes girls, he thinks.

 _Bisexual?_ a helpful little voice pipes up in the back of his head.

Still doesn't help him get over the fact that he lip-touched Lee Jihoon.

He wants to do it again.

Soonyoung buries his face in his pillow and screams until he resurfaces for air, red-faced and panting. He briefly wonders how Jihoon plans on killing him. Maybe he’ll get brained with a hockey stick and be freed from his stupid, dirty thoughts.

Soonyoung stares at the little digital clock blinking on his nightstand. It’s 3:45 in the morning, and he resigns himself to a sleepless night. Quietly, Soonyoung pulls out his headphones and phone before selecting a song and willing himself to sleep.

 _Things’ll get better_ , a voice whispers in his head, sounding suspiciously like Seungcheol. _They always do._

 

They don't.

The next day at practice, both Soonyoung and Jihoon are overly high-strung, jacked up on whatever saturated tension hangs around them. Seungcheol has to yell at them more than usual, and eventually he drags them off the ice, hands fisted in their uniforms.

“What's going on?”

Neither boys say anything, opting to glare at each other from their respective sides next to the captain. After a minute of silence, Seungcheol growls, running a hand across his eyes.

“Fine. Don't tell me. But you two are acting like children, and I _know_ you're better than this. Unfortunately I can't take you out, not so close to our next competition. So fix this, and if not for yourselves, then for your teammates. You're still part of a team, in case you forgot.”

Soonyoung swallows thickly, and Jihoon’s eyes are downcast. 

“Got it?” Seungcheol asks, voice hard and sharp.

“Got it,” the two players say in unison, waiting until they're alone again to turn to each other.

“Locker rooms,” Jihoon says, eyes looking everywhere except at Soonyoung. “After practice.”  
It's not a question.

“Fine,” Soonyoung snaps, a ball of anxiousness rolling in his stomach. “After practice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys.
> 
> first of all, thank you so much for sticking with this dumb fic and giving it lots of love.
> 
> secondly, trin is super busy with school currently (as am i), but we're trying really hard to keep writing and updating. thanks for being patient!
> 
> and lastly, it looks like you all are stuck with me for a couple chapters so...buckle up, kiddos.
> 
> ♡ calli


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You wanna what, Kwon?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol everyday boom boom -trin

They’re the last to leave, like always. It’s almost like a habit now. 

Jihoon’s movements slow until he’s walking in circles just to avoid the door and every few minutes he pretends to drop his keys just to peek around the corner and see if any members are still here. 

Today should be no different. He’s the one who told Soonyoung they’d talk after practice. He’s the one who spoke first then, why can’t he do it now? 

Insults sit at the tip of his tongue. _Why do you act so self-righteous? Quit with the attitude and get your shit together. You’re quite the selfish one, aren’t you?_

But those aren’t going to help. Not when they’re so close to going as far in this year’s hockey season they’ve ever gone, and Jihoon doesn’t want to lose just because Kwon Soonyoung is a fucking asswipe. 

No, he’s not going to let that shit happen. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Not till this season is over, because Seungcheol is right. They’ve both forgotten they’re representing a team, not individuals. 

So Jihoon sucks up his ego and when he finally grabs hold of himself, he finds that he’s standing in front of Soonyoung. His eyes look bored, but the way his body is stiff and his knuckles turn white from gripping the strap of his bag says otherwise. 

“So, are we gonna talk or what?” Soonyoung sounds irritated already, and Jihoon grits his teeth.

“Yeah, we should.”

They fall silent, and just when it gets too unbearable, Soonyoung breaks it.

“I hate you.”

Jihoon barks out a bitter laugh. “I know. I hate you too.”

“Okay, but _why_? I mean, I haven't done anything to you and-”

“You're the most self-centered, arrogant, pretentious, cocky-”

“Shut the fuck up, just because you're so far up Seungcheol’s ass doesn't mean-”

“Doesn't mean what? I play loads better than you, you just slide around on your goddamn kid skates-”

“I hope you get kicked off the team, God, every time I see you I just wanna-”

“You wanna what, _Kwon_?”

Soonyoung shoves him, hard. Jihoon stumbles into the lockers, smacking the back of his head against the cool metal.

“Fucker,” Jihoon spits, and then the two of them are lunging at each other, fists pummeling at whatever inch of skin they can reach.

The two of them are acting like children, but it’s like they can’t help it. It’s a reflex. It’s natural, like breathing. If no blood is shed when Jihoon and Soonyoung are in the same vicinity, something is very, very wrong.

Jihoon gets pushed up against the lockers again, and Soonyoung’s fingers dig into his sides. His fingernails carve deep crecents where Jihoon’s shirt got rucked up in their scuffle, and Jihoon gasps because suddenly the pain feels _good_ , what the fuck.

He squeezes his eyes shut and thinks of the bruises that’ll be there in the morning, the pads of Soonyoung’s fingers smudged temporarily onto the dips of his hips. It makes heat coil low in his gut, sending a shudder through his spine. He can feel Soonyoung panting above him, and in the next instant, they’re meeting halfway for a desperate and clumsy kiss.

Curling his fingers into Soonyoung’s hair, Jihoon relishes the way the other pushes him flush against the lockers and how his body melds right into his own. Soonyoung moves to shove a leg between Jihoon’s thighs, and Jihoon groans, rolling his hips on instinct. He can't think about anything past the feeling of hands gripping his hips tight and plush lips on the column of his throat.

“S-Soonyoung,” Jihoon whines, hands tugging where they're tangled in the older boy’s hair.

He sucks hard at the juncture of Jihoon’s shoulder, tongue swiping over the dark red bruise his mouth leaves. Soonyoung grins at the noise it elicits out of him, low and broken.  
“You're so cute, Lee, goddamn.”

Jihoon growls, teeth nipping at Soonyoung’s lips the next time they crash together. Soonyoung yelps, a hand coming up to touch his mouth.

“You bit me, I’m _bleeding_ , what the fuck?”

Jihoon tilts his head lazily. “Don't call me cute.”

“Fine, sorry. I take it back. You're scary.”

Jihoon laughs, and it's breathless, his head tilted back as he draws in gulps of air. He looks utterly wrecked, hair mussed and lips swollen, propped up on top of Soonyoung’s thigh, his t-shirt pushed up to the middle of his torso. Soonyoung doesn't fare any better, lip stained with red and sweat clinging to his temples, his hands braced against either side of Jihoon’s head, pressing on painted metal.

A loud noise rings out into the empty air, Soonyoung jolting away from Jihoon like he’d been shocked.

_All I want for Christmas is youuuu~_

Jihoon heaves, palm over his heart. His eyes are wide. “Oh my god. What.”

“Sorry, I-” Soonyoung flings himself toward his duffel bag, rummaging for a few moments until he holds up his phone, still blaring Mariah Carey. (It was Wonwoo’s idea of a prank, and he just never changed it back, sue him.) “Hello? Hey, Seungcheol.”

Soonyoung glances at his teammate and Jihoon raises his eyebrows, tugging his shirt back down to its proper length.

"Yeah, we uh. Talked. Listen, I gotta go. I’m...driving, yeah. Tell you about it later.”

Soonyoung hangs up, but when he turns back around, Jihoon is gone.

“Fuck,” he says, but there’s no one to hear him but himself and his uncomfortable hard on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay but "boys" by britney spears is a song i think would be on soonhoon's make out playlist -calli


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're loud."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> filler snapshots of soonhoon's newfound fuck buddy status (aka happy early christmas guys i #sinned in public writing this for you) -calli

They don’t talk about it, even though they probably should. After that one night, it's evolved into a thing that just happens now, in between the regular threats and yelling matches. Those fights are done in public, but this is something else entirely, confined to empty rooms and bathroom stalls late after practice.

1

“ _God_ ,” Soonyoung hisses, pupils blown to black and gaze locked onto the boy in front of him. “You're so desperate for it, aren't you, Lee?”

Jihoon growls, snarls almost, sweat matting his hair as he ruts against Soonyoung’s thigh, hard muscle flexing as he works his hips. “Do you _ever_ shut the fuck up?”

Soonyoung rolls his eyes, hands tightening around Jihoon’s waist. “You didn't answer my question.”

“D-do I need to?” Jihoon pants, head tilted forward.

“No, but you should anyway.”

“You're annoying,” Jihoon says, voice cracking. He's so, so close, the coil of heat in the pit of his stomach burning hot enough to make him shake and-

The hands around Jihoon’s waist turn vice-like, stalling his movements until he stops completely, the promise of a mind-blowing orgasm ebbing to a dull, unsatisfying ache.

“N-no. No, nononono,” Jihoon pleads, trying in vain to gain friction where he wants it most. “ _Soonyoung_.”

“Cute,” Soonyoung coos, and Jihoon goes to smack him, only to brace himself against the wall as the hands rock his hips back and forth once, twice. He gasps, unprepared for the sudden spikes of pleasure zipping up his spine. 

“So, are you desperate for it or not, ‘Hoonie?”

Jihoon gnashes his teeth in frustration, but two can play at this game, so he lets out his best pornstar moan and arches his spine, wriggling in Soonyoung’s hold. “Y-yeah, I’m. I’m so desperate for your _cock_ , Soonyoung, I want it please, ah!”

Soonyoung’s breath hitches, and suddenly Jihoon is allowed to move again, fingertips on his skin pressing hard enough to leave marks as he frantically grinds against the thigh slotted between his legs.

Jihoon comes with a cut off whine, black dotting the edges of his vision as he slumps forward, face buried in the crook of Soonyoung’s neck.

 

2

“Hey,” Soonyoung starts, and oh. Oh, there's a tent in his sweatpants and goddamn if Jihoon doesn't drool a little.

“Let me,” Jihoon says, and drops to his knees, already fumbling with the drawstring on Soonyoung’s pants. He swallows him all the way down with little warning, and if there's one thing Lee Jihoon prides himself in, it's dick sucking.

“Holy hell,” Soonyoung chokes, hands flying to tangle in Jihoon’s hair. “Oh, god.”

Jihoon hums, gagging a little as his throat works around the length of his teammate’s cock. His eyes are watering, clumping his eyelashes together with every blink. Jihoon loves it though, the warm heavy weight on his tongue, the sound of Soonyoung falling apart, the harsh tug of hands in his hair.

Soonyoung is a bit too loud though, and so after a few solid sucks, Jihoon pulls off with an obscene pop, strings of shiny saliva stretching from his swollen bottom lip to the flushed head of Soonyoung’s dick.

“Are you okay?” Jihoon asks, voice amused and raspy.

“Peachy,” Soonyoung says, head tipped back onto the bathroom stall, eyes shut tight. “Doesn't it hurt? How do you even…?”

“Deep throat?” A laugh. “There's a lot you don't know about me, _Kwon_.”

Soonyoung tsks and opens his mouth to shoot back a snappy retort, only to have his words turn into moans as his dick gets reengulfed in tight wet heat. “ _Jihoon_.”

Another moan echoes through the stall when Jihoon bumps his nose against dark curls, and the smaller boy sighs internally at the noise, pulling away for the second time.

“You're loud,” Jihoon states, matter-of-factly. “And it's hot, but also we’re kinda sorta in public.”

“No one is here, it's like eleven at night.”

“Okay, but you're really loud and I want to shut you up. I hear enough of your goddamn voice during practice.”

Soonyoung grumbles. “You're so whiny.”

“Just put this in your mouth,” Jihoon says, long-suffering as he offers a wadded up t-shirt.

“Christ,” Soonyoung mutters, but does it anyway, slipping the fabric between his teeth and biting down. It tastes like cologne, something clean and musky, not his own.

“Also,” Jihoon continues, sweetly. “This way I can keep sucking your dick even if someone _does_ come in.”

And with that, he goes back to getting Soonyoung off, fast and messy. Soonyoung’d be worried about his teammate’s throat if he wasn't currently getting the best goddamn head of his life, holy shit.

His eyes drop down to the tousled mess of hair bobbing between his legs, and a muffled groan works it’s way up his throat as he comes, hips stuttering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> practice is over but hockey sticks stay out, do you get what i mean -trin


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You got any mouthwash on you?"
> 
>  
> 
> (lol @ listerine sponsor us)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi omg thank you for still loving this fic even though we haven't updated in forever. enjoy bubs -trin

They won. 

Against their biggest rivals, they _won_ , he scored the _winning point_ , and now Soonyoung is breathless, laughing in disbelief. The laughter doesn’t help when his teammates drop their sticks to rush over, tackling him with rib-crushing hugs. It’s the best feeling he’s had in a long time, and his heart soars with pride.

Pride for himself, and for his team.

“Not bad,” Jihoon murmurs in his ear, and Soonyoung revels in the proud, happy gaze that’s sent his way.

 

Seungcheol treats them all to celebratory McDonald’s afterwards, the entire team eager to refuel with greasy, fried food. Luckily, the restaurant is fairly empty this time of night. There are only a few random stragglers occupying the booths, sighing as the team of loud, obnoxious teenage boys flow through the doors.

Unluckily, Soonyoung gets pushed into the booth seat between Jihoon and Hansol. He’s contained, surrounded, and squashed. Which normally wouldn't be a problem, except that it’s post-game, and he’s fidgeting. A lot. It's something he’s always had a problem with, and he’s helpless against the residual energy thrumming through his veins. There’s so much adrenaline left in him he doesn't quite know what to do, and he feels a little like he drank six cups of coffee, or popped a bunch of caffeine pills. All in all, not that great. 

Normally he’d go home and jerk it out in the shower, or go running until he’s exhausted, but he doesn't have that luxury. So instead he’s bouncing his leg. Which has got to be annoying for the others at the table, so in an attempt to keep himself occupied, Soonyoung chows down on his burger. It’s actually really good, and he happily bites off chunks to keep his mouth full with meat, bread, pickles, onion, and ketchup (not mustard though, who the hell likes _mustard? ewww_.)

That’s all of the food in his mouth, and two seconds later, also all of the food that almost goes spewing out of his mouth when Jihoon places a hand on his thigh. Too high, and Soonyoung chokes, drops his burger, and desperately reaches for his drink. 

He nearly spills it on Jihoon when he finally grabs a hold of it, the smaller boy patting his thigh sympathetically. The warmth of his hand seeps through the thin fabric of the sweats Soonyoung’s wearing. It's distracting.

Jihoon leans slightly toward Soonyoung, murmuring quietly. “You’re moving too much.” 

Wonwoo glances over at the commotion curiously, and Soonyoung flashes (what he hopes is) a casual smile, shrugging at the boy across the table.

“Still got that adrenaline rush,” Soonyoung explains quickly.

Jihoon scoffs quietly. “Cliché.”

“So are you, trying to give me a handjob under the table.” He shoots back. 

The corner of Jihoon's lip curls up, wicked and full of promise. “Oh, I can do better than that.” 

Soonyoung swallows thickly, surprised, because what the fuck. 

One of their teammates calls his name and it cuts through his thoughts, Soonyoung blinking back to reality. It's Seungkwan, both hands full of foil-wrapped food. “Do you want another burger?” 

He looks down at his own half-eaten meal, catches a glimpse of Jihoon’s hand still on his thigh and licks his lips. “I’ll pass, thanks though.”

Seungkwan eyes him, one brow raised. Soonyoung giving up seconds is an unheard of phenomenon. Thankfully, he doesn’t question it, and shrugs, relinquishing the wrapped burger to Hansol’s grabby hands instead. 

“Bathroom, two minutes.” Jihoon whispers after everyone’s attention is occupied again, fingers trailing along Soonyoung’s thigh as he pulls away. Jihoon stands, smiling at the team and pointing at the bathroom, phone in hand. “Gotta take a call quick.” 

Two minutes pass by excruciatingly slow. Soonyoung bolts up from his seat as soon as his phone reads 10:47 PM, garnering attention from his whole team when his chair produces a loud screech against the tile floor.

He smiles sheepishly. “Bathroom. Drank too much soda.”

Soonyoung takes large strides to the restroom, but stops when he stands in front of the door. Was he really going to hook up with Jihoon in a fast food restaurant bathroom? It’s so unsanitary.

But then he imagines Jihoon whining, mouth swollen pink and lax and moaning his name and-

Yeah, he was definitely going to have sex with Jihoon in a McDonald’s bathroom.

“Took you long enough,” Jihoon says, leaning against the sink counter.

Soonyoung groans, making his way over to stand in front of his teammate. “Longest two minutes of my life.”

“Three, actually,” Jihoon pouts. “You're late.”

And then he’s pulling Soonyoung down for a kiss, hot and insistent. Somehow, Soonyoung manages to wrangle the smaller boy into a stall because, _no, Jihoon, we’re not doing this out here_.

It's kind of funny actually, Jihoon sitting criss cross on the toilet seat with Soonyoung facing him (to any outsider it’ll just look like he's taking a piss in a stall). Less funny when Jihoon finally tugs down Soonyoung’s sweats and mouths along the band of his underwear.

“Jihoon,” Soonyoung breathes, and he's missed this even though it's only been a few days since their last… hang out? session? hook up? Doesn't matter.

Jihoon smirks, and Soonyoung can feel it against his skin. He shivers.

“You were good today.”

Soonyoung’s eyes fly open. “You just gave me...a compliment?”

Jihoon bites his hipbone, hard. “Yes, for the first and last time ever. Now shut the fuck up.”

“Yes sir,” Soonyoung drawls. And he's teasing, of course he is, but _oh_ , he's not stupid, he sees the pleased look in Jihoon’s eyes, the dark blush high on his cheeks.

“Huh. You like that?”

Jihoon’s eyes are dark, and he hums in answer, vibrations shooting pleasure up Soonyoung’s spine. He has to clench his teeth and think of dead puppies to calm his impending orgasm, wanting to drag this out longer. (He also tucks away the new piece of information for possible later use.)

“You're so good, Lee, _fuck_ , where'd you, _Jesus Christ_ \- learn how to suck dick like this, huh?”

And god, everything is too much, and Soonyoung still can't quite believe they're doing this now, in a nasty-ass public bathroom. Jihoon is messy, mouth moving fast and tight and there's spit and precome smearing a little down his chin and it's kind of gross but also oh-so-hot. 

Jihoon lives up to his reigning title as All Around Asshole and doesn’t let Soonyoung revel in the pleasure, finishing him off with hollowed cheeks and a teasing smile that Soonyoung doesn’t see. He’s too busy hunched over Jihoon’s head, eyes closed tight because holy shit, he thinks he just got his soul sucked out from his dick. 

Soonyoung’s cock slips out of Jihoon’s mouth, and immediately Jihoon pushes Soonyoung to the side, spins around and spits what cum he caught in his mouth into the toilet. Soonyoung frowns. “Do I taste bad?”

“No, but your sweat does. Fuck, that was such a bad idea, we haven’t even showered yet.” Jihoon grimaces, wiping the drool from his mouth with toilet paper.

Soonyoung blanches because gross. He doesn’t even want to imagine the taste. 

“Thanks for sucking me off anyway.” Soonyoung pats Jihoon on the back. “I would return the favor but-” He gestures at Jihoon’s crotch. “-I have a weak stomach.”

Jihoon’s fist flies towards Soonyoung’s abdomen. Soonyoung grunts, back hitting the stall door, the latch definitely leaving a bruise. “Liar,” Jihoon grumbles, “but whatever, my boner is gone now.” 

Soonyoung wipes his dick clean, flushing the toilet after. He tugs up his briefs first, because he’s hot and sweaty, and there’s no way one article of clothing is coming up with a fight, let alone two. Jihoon slips a finger in the dip of Soonyoung’s hip, pulling the elastic and letting it snap back against Soonyoung’s skin. 

“What the fuck?” Soonyoung hisses, fingers rubbing to soothe his skin. 

Jihoon shrugs. “You got any mouthwash on you?”

Soonyoung glares at him, pulling his sweatpants over his hips and unlocking the stall door. He’s amazed that no one came check on them in the past five minutes. “Yeah, because I carry mouthwash with me everywhere I go.” 

“Shut your pretty mouth before I make you suck my sweaty ass dick.” Jihoon threatens, brow raising to look at Soonyoung through the mirror. 

Soonyoung opens his mouth. Jihoon flashes a glare at him. 

“But-”

“Kwon Soonyoung.” 

“The pros outweigh the cons.” Soonyoung reasons. 

“Enlighten me as to how anything makes up for the taste of a sweaty dick.”

Soonyoung shoves his hands into his pockets, leaning close to Jihoon’s ear, staring straight into the mirror in front of them and into Jihoon’s eyes. 

“The pleasure that you’d feel, _daddy_.” He whispers.

Jihoon goes frigid, cheeks so hot that Soonyoung can feel it on his skin beside him. He drops his gaze, reaching back to grip the fabric of Soonyoung’s sweatpants. Soonyoung smirks. 

Payback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god, you guys. sorry for taking so long. life has been ridiculously hectic lately??? so much has happened. thank you again for being so understanding and patient etc. we love you! see you next chapter~! -calli


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don't fall in love with him or anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was inspired by Actual Real Life events in my life lmao how tragic -calli
> 
> also, calli is amazing and made hoecky aesthetics so pleaaassee check them out, they're so pretty. (nsfw warning on the last two)  
> [#1](http://i1315.photobucket.com/albums/t590/officialexo/hoecky_zpsz3cooi66.jpg) | [#2](http://i1315.photobucket.com/albums/t590/officialexo/hoecky%202_zpsymaekefv.jpg) | [#3](http://i1315.photobucket.com/albums/t590/officialexo/hoecky3_zpsc5nj5mpk.jpg)

Jihoon can't sleep.

Everyone else has long drifted off in their respective charter bus seats, either sprawled out by themselves or curled up around the person next to them. The luggage lights are still on, soft green light spilling over the overhead ledge and onto his teammates relaxed faces. It's quiet for once too, the whole bus shrouded in a rare air of calm and peace.

It's 2:15 in the morning and Jihoon can't get that stupid word out of his head.

_ Daddy. _

Even thinking about it makes his body burn with embarrassment. Arousal too, but he doesn't want to think about that yet. It’s too much to process. God, he can't believe Soonyoung called him that. He can't believe he  _ liked it _ . It makes him feel a little gross, but then again, he supposes having a kink like that makes sense in a way. He doesn't want to dwell on it too much. Instead, he basks in the relief that putting a name to what was initially some wild, unknown turn on brings. Except, oh God, wasn't that some sort of BDSM thing? Jihoon is suddenly, painfully aware of how little he knows about...about any of that stuff.

It takes a minute to convince himself that he’s not going to go to hell, but soon Jihoon is browsing through websites, link after link leading him to increasingly graphic content. One site offers a kink discovery quiz, and all eight pages worth of questions end up getting answered, curiosity getting the better of him.

His top five results read: _ Dominant, Daddy, Switch, Exhibitionist, Rigger. _

Jihoon frowns as he skims the list, some of the terms jumping out at him. He searches up the unfamiliar ones and eventually gets caught up in looking at various photos of shibari. 

It's breathtakingly pretty, ropes twisting and knotting together in dizzyingly intricate patterns. It’s pretty, and Jihoon likes it. A lot. More than he's willing to admit, actually.

He stumbles across a photo of a boy suspended in mid-air, and it looks uncomfortable even though he’s grinning, pink tongue peeking out between pearly teeth. The thin rope binding him is a bright, firetruck red, and _fuck,_ Jihoon can’t help but think that would look so good against Soonyoung’s skin and dark hair. His mouth goes dry at the thought, and-

“Why are you looking at bondage?”

Jihoon yelps, scrambling to hide his phone from view.  _ Fuck, fuck,  _ abort _ , mayday- _

His phone tumbles out from his hands and lands screen-side up on the floor, and he shrinks in his seat as Junhui picks it up, scrolling down the feed of photos.

“Kinky,” Junhui says, grinning, which is kind of a blessing, but Jihoon still wants to die, maybe melt into the floor and never come back. “Lee Jihoon, who would have thought you were into chains and whips and all that jazz?”

“Shut up oh my God,” Jihoon hisses, face burning. “It's just rope.”

Junhui laughs quietly, slipping out of his seat to join Jihoon in his.

“You might want to turn down your screen brightness,” Junhui advises, turning in his seat and criss crossing his legs. “It was pretty obnoxious.”

“Shit.”

“So,” Junhui starts after a moment, sliding smoothly into the empty seat next to Jihoon.

“What's up with you and Soonyoung?”

“Nothing,” Jihoon replies, forcing down the nervousness that bubbles up in the pit his stomach. “why?”

Junhui shrugs, casual as anything. “You were mumbling his name. While also looking at bondage techniques. Just wondered.”

Jihoon wants to die, shrivel up and dissolve into the ground. But it's Wen Junhui, his best friend and Jihoon has always been weak.

“Fuck, fine. But swear to me you won't tell anyone.”

“Promise.” 

Junhui settles back in his seat, waiting as Jihoon struggles to find the right words to start with, voice hesitant and hushed as he spills everything that's been bottled up for the past month.

The clock reads 4 AM when Jihoon finishes talking to Junhui, the sun tipping just past the indigo horizon in a wash of warm gold. He’s a good listener, and by the end, Jihoon feels lighter somehow, more at ease knowing that he doesn't have to keep everything to himself all the time now.

“I still hate him though,” Jihoon says, stretching his arms toward the ceiling. “He’s fucking annoying.”

Junhui sighs. “I still can't believe you hooked up with Soonyoung.”

“Ha,” Jihoon hums sleepily, pulling his blanket up around his shoulders.

“Jihoon…”

“What.”

“Be careful,” Junhui murmurs after a beat, eyes serious and tinged with worry. “Don't fall in love with him or anything.”

Jihoon scoffs and pulls a face. “Ugh. Didn't you just hear me? I hate him. You can fuck people and still not like them, in case you didn't know.”

Junhui frowns. “I do know. Doesn't mean it's any better.”

“He hates me too. Nothing is going to happen. It's just sex, okay? Doesn't mean anything.”

Jihoon doesn't mention how that statement vaguely makes his heart feel hollow in a strange, disconnected way. Junhui opens his mouth to say something more, but Jihoon turns away, feigning sleep as he burrows deeper into his blankets. He doesn't actually drift off until much later, too caught up in his thoughts to relax for a long while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, hello, thank you for loving this fic. if you want, check us out on twitter and tumblr, too. we're pretty cool people, i swear. -trin
> 
> calli  
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/bxckybarnes) | [tumblr](http://1-800woozi.tumblr.com)
> 
> trin  
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/chyeollin) | [tumblr](http://jeonkwons.tumblr.com)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What?” Jihoon asks, eyeing Soonyoung with a look of worry mixed with disgust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brought to you by the 2005 movie "robots" -calli
> 
> hope y'all like it :) also, please read the note at the end!!! there's something amazing linked there! -trin

Soonyoung supposes sharing a class with Jihoon isn’t all too bad. 

“Idiot, you’re not being economically efficient here.” Jihoon jabs a finger at Point C, where Soonyoung had indicated as the outcome that would produce the most economic growth. 

“Well, why not? You get ten pizzas and two robots, there’s nothing wrong with eight more pizzas.”

Jihoon closes his eyes, licking his lips in frustration. He breathes in deeply and reaches forward, yanking the paper out of Soonyoung’s hands. “I can’t believe we’re partners, this is stupid.” He mutters under his breath.

Soonyoung frowns. “Rude.”

“At least I’m not the one making the poorest choices for the economy’s future.” 

“What’s wrong with pizza?” Soonyoung slouches in his seat, leaning to the left toward Jihoon. He smells good, like he threw on a spritz of a subtle cologne. Soonyoung can’t really distinguish scents for shit, but he likes it. It was better than the drying sweat and body odor that usually radiated off of them after practice. 

“You’re producing more consumer goods than capital goods. You’re not getting any long-term profits from it.” Jihoon states, erasing Soonyoung’s marks and writing in his own. He’s hunched over the paper, protecting it in case Soonyoung were to reach other and take it back. 

“Whatever you say, Einstein. I’ll be the one with a full stomach while you mourn over your shitty robots.” Soonyoung pats Jihoon’s back, fingers tingling as they run across his shoulder blade. He swears he feels a shiver beneath his touch but he can’t be sure. Jihoon shows no change in emotion aside from the irritation, attention still focused on the assignment. 

A serious Jihoon is a cute Jihoon, Soonyoung decides. It’s like he isn’t aware of his expressions as he reads through the questions, eyebrows furrowing when he comes across a word he still has yet to encode into his long-term memory, eyes lighting up when he’s able to answer a question the moment he finishes reading it. His posture reflects his confidence, slouched when he’s contemplating answers, straight up when he’s more than one hundred percent sure he’s chosen the right letter. 

“What?” Jihoon asks, eyeing Soonyoung with a look of worry mixed with disgust. 

Soonyoung blinks, hoping there isn’t blood rushing to his cheeks right now. He smiles, shaking his head. “Nothing. Just-thanks for saving my ass in macro, I guess.” 

Jihoon scoffs. “Yeah, you’re welcome.” He slides the paper over, setting his pen down beside it. “Here, try this one.”

He looks at the paper, grimacing at the five-part question. “Will you help me?”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “What else am I supposed to do?”

  
  


Jihoon tugs Soonyoung in by the tie, lips capturing his with practiced ease. It worries Soonyoung a little, how they’ve gotten so used to this; making out in uncomfortable places, hesitant touches that always lead to something more. 

He’s also worried about his clothes, because he has to look presentable today. They both do, because there’s a big home game tonight, and it’s tradition to dress up nicely the day of. It wasn’t even third hour yet when Jihoon had grabbed his arm hastily as he passed in the hallway, dragging him along to the bathroom where he shut the door and pushed Soonyoung against it.

“Take it off,” Jihoon mutters. 

Soonyoung gasps when Jihoon’s lips leave sloppy kisses along his jawline. Jihoon’s fingers fumble at Soonyoung’s tie, and that’s when Soonyoung understood. “But why?” He breathes heavily, hands pressing into Jihoon’s sides. 

“Because I said so, you fucker, now hurry up.” Jihoon growls.

With Jihoon pressed so closely to him, Soonyoung has a hard time grabbing hold of his tie. He tugs one end, mind delirious when Jihoon’s hips slot against his groin, providing friction. Bad mistake. 

He chokes as he accidentally tightens his tie instead of loosening it. Jihoon stops all he was doing, eyes going wide as he stares at Soonyoung’s exposed neck. It doesn’t register till after Soonyoung’s tugged the article of clothing away, unbuttoning the first few of his shirt for good measure, that he realizes why Jihoon had looked so pained. 

He had a thing for it. 

For the choking, maybe? The tie? His adam’s apple? Maybe it was the fact that something was tied around him, anywhere, that set Jihoon off. 

In seconds, Jihoon’s back on him, and he doesn’t relent until Soonyoung is coming right into his pants, too high on pleasure to think of how to deal with the aftermath. 

His hair is dishevelled, but it’s not nearly as bad as Jihoon’s. Jihoon looks like a complete mess, dick still hard as he takes Soonyoung’s hand and presses it against his crotch. “You always get to come first.” Jihoon grumbles, a small pout on his lips, grinding his hips against Soonyoung’s hand. “It’s not fair.” 

Soonyoung doesn’t dare tap into the information he acquired from their last encounter at McDonald’s, too afraid to see how Jihoon would react. Instead, he drops to his knees and smiles up at Jihoon - who cared about his pants, they were soiled already anyway - “I’ll make it up to you then.” 

He’ll save that for another day.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE. vicky (@tinydoodler) drew fanart for us, i'm actually in tears because one, oh my god, someone liked this au enough to drAW for us, and two, it's just so amazing, i Need to Frame It. 
> 
> check it out [here!](https://twitter.com/tinydoodler/status/828701129160601600) and [here's](https://twitter.com/tinydoodler/status/828702044521271296) the same one, but with text! 
> 
> [update] okay, just in case anyone reads this before i'm able to fix the link, the fanart will be up soon! ao3 loves being an ass to me :")  
> [update 2] yay! it finally worked! ao3 can't outsmart me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can't just pull shit like that on me in the middle of class, Soonyoung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hope you're all doing well~ updates might be a little slow for a bit - i just started a new online class for college/finals are happening, and trin is always super busy with school, bless her. anyway a psa: hoecky is coming to an end :'( there's probably about 3-4 chapters left at the most. it's been real, you guys. ♡

Soonyoung’s acting really fucking weird.

It makes Jihoon feel a little off-balance, like everything is still normal but shifted ever so slightly, like when someone moves all the furniture an inch to the left. Except there's no furniture, it’s just Kwon Soonyoung, and he’s acting like he and Jihoon are _friends_ , of all things.

Soonyoung’s behavior isn't earth-shatteringly different, and maybe that's why Jihoon is thrown for such a loop. It's small details, things Jihoon catches every so often. Gazes that linger too long, smiles sent his way instead of glares, soft touches that don't promise anything more than light comfort. Teasing, in the way that friends tease; not to insult or harm, but to cause laughter and soft exasperation.

And then of course, Jihoon has to stop and wonder when he had the time to catch Soonyoung doing all these things because one, it means Jihoon has been staring as well, and two, it means that Jihoon also has spent actual time thinking about how Soonyoung interacts with him and if it might mean more.

He doesn't know what to feel, nor does he want to dwell on the new information. So Jihoon shoves it away. Ignores it. Locks it up in a dusty corner of his mind and pretends to hate Soonyoung still.  
He supposes, if anything, he's reminded why he stopped with the whole dating deal. Because, you know. Feelings. But it doesn't even matter because Lee Jihoon still hates Kwon Soonyoung, and they're not dating. Obviously.

“Quit it.”

Soonyoung grins. “Quit what?”

“That tapping,” Jihoon hisses, narrowing his eyes. “It's annoying.”

“What tapping?” Soonyoung asks, face scrunched up in mock confusion. He twirls his pencil between his fingertips, frowning. “I don't hear anything.”

Jihoon growls, teeth clenched. “That's because you _stopped_.”

“Oh,” Soonyoung says, before proceeding to continue tapping his pencil against his desk. 

“You're infuriating,” Jihoon informs him, hands itching to reach over and snap the stupid thing in half. “And I hate you.”

Soonyoung pouts. Jihoon _refuses_ to think of it as cute. “No you don't.”

“You don't know me.”

Soonyoung leans over his desk, lips brushing the shell of Jihoon’s ear. It tickles and-

“Pretty sure I know you really well, _Daddy_.”

Jihoon chokes on spit, hacking violently all over his class notes. “ _Jesus Christ_.”

Soonyoung smirks. “Sorry.”

“You fucker,” Jihoon hisses, eyes darting around anxiously to see if anyone heard.

Soonyoung leans forward conspiratorially, voice lowered to a murmur. “Well, yeah. I mean, I was hoping to fuck you. It doesn't have to be soon but I-”

Their teacher’s voice cuts through Soonyoung’s voice and the sound of Jihoon slowly dying. “Mr. Lee? Do you need to go to the nurse?”

Jihoon waves her off, attempting to calm his coughing. “‘M fine. Just-” he coughs more, glaring at Soonyoung.

Said boy touches his shoulder, and to anyone else he would look concerned, but Jihoon knows. He sees the evil glint in his eyes and dear lord does Jihoon want to wipe that stupid look off his face.

“Actually,” Soonyoung says, reaching out to flatten his palm against Jihoon’s forehead. “He's really warm. I could take him to the nurse?”

The teacher nods, ignoring the smaller boy’s protests. “He does look a little flushed. I’ll write you both passes.”

“Thanks,” Soonyoung says solemnly, taking the slips and leading Jihoon out of the classroom, a hand resting on the small of his back.

They're already out the door when Jihoon twists away, storming toward a boys’ bathroom. He's gone toward the shitty secluded one with the stalls that are covered in old graffiti and chipping pink paint. Rarely anyone uses it, and if they do it's for between class hookups. (Soonyoung would know. Specifically, he's gotten very familiar with the inside of the fifth stall. So has Jihoon.)

“You,” Jihoon starts, splashing water on his face. “Are the worst.”

Soonyoung shifts his weight, slouching against the tiled wall. “What'd I do?”

“Oh, shut up,” Jihoon snarls, suddenly in his face and looking very, very angry. Confused too, but mostly angry. “You can't just pull shit like that on me in the middle of _class_ , Soonyoung.”

“What shit?”

Jihoon huffs, blushing and hating every minute of it. “The. The daddy thing.”

Soonyoung giggles. Jihoon smacks him.

He pouts, rubbing at his arm. “Ow, fuck, don't hit me!”

“Then don't laugh at me!”

“Sorry,” Soonyoung repeats, and this time he looks like he means it, sobering up a little and standing up straight. “Sorry. I’m not laughing at you, I promise. Just…” he trails off, the tips of his ears burning.

“Just what? Spit it out, Kwon.”

“It's hot,” Soonyoung confesses, worrying at his bottom lip. “Really hot actually, and I don't mind calling you that. Daddy, I mean.”

“You...don't? Isn't it weird, though?” Jihoon stares in disbelief.

“Maybe?” Soonyoung shrugs. “I don't care either way. I like it. I’ll only call you it if you want me to though. Unless you don't want-”

“No! No. I. It's fine. You can. Call me that.” he's stuttering, face flushing again and wow, can he not talk about these things without blushing like a goddamn virgin? He's sucked Soonyoung _dick_ for chrissakes. They should be able to talk about kinks without him being flustered.

“Just not during class,” Soonyoung says.

“Right,” Jihoon agrees, and smiles despite himself.

Soonyoung opens his mouth and closes it, eyebrows furrowing like he's debating about something. He opens his mouth again, and when he speaks, his gaze is burning holes into the floor. He looks nervous, of all things.

“I. Maybe...maybe I would...like it more if. If you called me-.” Soonyoung cuts off, breathing a little heavy like he can't get the words out. His entire face is a bright pink, hands fiddling with the hem on his long sleeved shirt. He takes a deep breath, words rushing out of him in one long stream. “If you called me baby. Boy. Like, baby boy. Yeah.”

Soonyoung snaps his mouth shut and promptly buries his face in his hands, letting loose an embarrassed groan. “Fuck, that sounds so stupid. Forget it. Let's just go back to class, okay?”

“No,” Jihoon says, slowly. He feels as if the temperature raised about fifty degrees and his throat is desert-dry. “Not yet.”

“Why not,” Soonyoung asks, voice cracking. He looks expectant, and Jihoon wants to laugh.

“Idiot. You already know.” 

And then he’s closing the distance between them, Soonyoung’s mouth sweet and hot against his as they crash together.

“Baby boy,” Jihoon coos.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung gasps, dropping to his knees faster than Jihoon has ever seen. “Jihoon, please can I suck your dick. ”

“Yeah.” Jihoon swallows hard, hands curling along the dirty ceramic sink. He could give a fuck that they were still technically out in the open. Soonyoung’s mouth is a gift. He's not gonna wait any longer.

“Get to it, baby boy,” Jihoon says, chin tilting up.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The way they described sex in sex ed was the worst and most romanticized shit Soonyoung has ever heard.

As a high school boy who is actively moving and feeling spent because of hockey and homework, Soonyoung has a very high libido. He’s used to having no free time, always occupied with something, and because he does, he usually never has time to jack off.

At least, that was how it was before he and Jihoon formed this friends with benefits relationship thing. And now that his body has gotten used to the euphoric rush of dopamine constantly being released, he wants more.

He’s not complaining that he isn’t getting enough from Jihoon alone. He gets off just as well by himself in the shower at home when he can, but on some days, he wishes Jihoon would let him strip him of his shirt, kiss up from his hips across his chest and up his shoulders to his lips. 

Soonyoung wants to worship Jihoon’s body but fuck, he can’t do that because Jihoon is afraid. He knows he is. The flash of fear in his eyes when there’s the slightest sound of footsteps outside is hypocritical of the voyeuristic tendencies that Jihoon blurted when Soonyoung first worried about getting caught.

So for now, Soonyoung squeezes his eyes shut, imagining the soft skin of Jihoon’s chest pressing against his as the other arches beneath him and works his hand fast. 

He comes into the tissues he has in his hands and sighs, dissatisfied. It’d have to do for tonight. 

They’re drunk. Soonyoung can’t quite measure how drunk they are because he hasn’t ever had more than one or two shitty, warm beers in one sitting before, and now they were here, taking too many shots of Captain Morgan mixed with 7Up. 

“Jihoon,” Soonyoung slurs, tapping the other on the nose. “Why’re you sooooooo cute?” 

Jihoon smacks his hand away from his face, nearly falling off his stool as he does so. “Mmfuck off, Kwon. I have things to do.” He blinks a few times to focus on the cup in front of him, and grins. “See, s’full again!” 

“You’re ignoring me.” Soonyoung pouts, standing up to move closer to Jihoon. “Why are you ignoring me? Am I not good ‘nuff for you?”

Jihoon rests his cheek on the cool table, looking up at Soonyoung. “No, you’re-” he giggles, “-you’re fucking great.” 

Soonyoung beams. “M’glad.” 

Jihoon suddenly smirks, pulling Soonyoung closer with a finger hooked on his shirt collar. “You wanna show me just how great you are, baby boy?” He whispers, standing up. He’s seems much more competent than he appeared to be before, and only slightly stumbles across the room to the stairs, tripping on the first step. He stops to look behind him when he realizes Soonyoung isn’t behind him. “You coming, Kwon?” 

It takes a few moments for Soonyoung to actually register what was happening. It’s odd, because he’s so used to fast handjobs and blowjobs in bathrooms, in the locker room or in their cars, and the fact that Jihoon is currently leading Soonyoung up to his room strikes him speechless. The implications are clear and dangerous, but Soonyoung wants and wants and wants.

Jihoon’s room is small, clean, and warm. The one window to the left is huge, covered by a large hanging tapestry that doesn’t really match the theme of the room, but then again, Jihoon doesn’t seem to be the kind to care anyway. Before Soonyoung can catch any other details of his room, Jihoon’s pushing him onto the bed, pupils blown wide. Out of reflex, one arm reaches back to brace his fall and the other wraps around Jihoon’s waist, holding the smaller boy to his front in order to pull their bodies flush together. 

Jihoon’s grinding his hips, creating friction and shit, Soonyoung’s eyes are rolling back into his head because it feels so good. They were both half-hard from the makeout session they had prior to escaping to Jihoon’s bedroom, and the feel of Jihoon’s hips against his does the rest of the work.

He cranes upward, searching for Jihoon's mouth and sighs contently when Jihoon leans forward to press his lips to Soonyoung’s. Soonyoung licks to rum off his lips, and the alcohol gives way to the familiar taste of Jihoon’s vanilla chapstick, slick and sweet.

Even though there’s no need to rush, (because Jihoon’s parents are out for the night, and it’s only nine o’clock), Jihoon is kissing him fast and rough, already reaching for the bottom of Soonyoung’s hoodie, breaking their kiss to yank it over his head. 

“God, why the fuck d’you have to wear so many layers.” Jihoon grumbles, sitting back and frowning at all the articles of clothing that had begun to pile on the floor.

Soonyoung had the audacity to laugh, tugging at Jihoon’s shirt as well. “Foreplay?” He offers, mouthing at an exposed collarbone.

“Okay, ‘nuff talking, use that mouth for something better.” Jihoon knots his fingers into Soonyoung’s hair, and wow, it’s so unhealthy how easily Jihoon gets Soonyoung all hot and bothered, because like this, Soonyoung’s willing to do anything.

He pushes Jihoon back to lay on the bed, going excruciatingly slow when taking off Jihoon’s pants as payback for rushing just moments before. “Hey, baby boy,” Jihoon murmurs, fingers tracing the pout of Soonyoung’s mouth, dipping in then out, smiling when Soonyoung’s breath catches at the name, “hurry up.” 

Somewhere along the way, Soonyoung’s pants come off too, and then they’re both naked. Jihoon surprisingly has lube and a pack of condoms that he pulls out from a drawer after rummaging through it for at least five minutes. When he finally returns, Soonyoung raises a brow at the super-sized packages.

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Junhui bought it as a joke, now shut the fuck up and let me prep you.”

The way they described sex in sex ed was the worst and most romanticized shit Soonyoung has ever heard. In case you didn’t know; it fucking hurts. A lot. Even with the lube and one finger, Soonyoung is biting into the pillow and fisting the sheets beneath him, and not in the good way. When the second goes in, Soonyoung almost backs out until Jihoon puts his mouth on Soonyoung’s dick to balance the pain with pleasure.

Next thing he knows, Jihoon’s rolling the condom onto his own dick, and maybe it’s because the alcohol is wearing off or maybe it’s because he didn’t drink enough that he finally starts to grab hold of his senses. Jihoon seems to be more stable now too, not toppling over every time he gets up. 

Soonyoung lets out a broken whine when Jihoon’s hand brushes against his aching cock, desperate for harder friction. Before he can even take in another breath, Jihoon rolls them over, Soonyoung’s legs folding on both sides of Jihoon’s hips. He can feel the insistent press of a cock on his ass, and he smiles, wriggling his hips just to see Jihoon’s reaction. It’s probably the most ugliest face Jihoon can make second to when he’s working out and struggling to bench at least one-twenty, but because Soonyoung is still slightly intoxicated and horny, he finds it hot as hell. 

Jihoon’s hands lift Soonyoung’s hips, and his own hands go to splay on Jihoon’s chest, looking down and seeing Jihoon release one hand, grabbing his dick with the other. Soonyoung lets out a whimper when he feels the head poke at his ass, and then he’s slowly sinking down and goddamn, Soonyoung doesn’t think anything could have hurt worse than his teammate’s fingers first prepping him but his dick going inside of him is so, so much worse. 

He has to pause halfway, because Jihoon’s dick is bigger than he remembers and his asshole can’t take it. “Christ, it burns.” He chokes, breathing hard and heavily. 

“I fingered you though.” Jihoon says, eyes still squeezed shut.

Soonyoung stops, lifting his head and glaring at him. “Do you wanna fucking try?”

Okay, they’re definitely not as drunk anymore. Soonyoung blames the expectations of what being drunk is supposed to feel like. He expected so much that he began to believe. Or maybe he’s still drunk and is talking nonsense now. 

“Hold on, let me get more lube.” Jihoon grunts, reaching over to grab the bottle, but Soonyoung hisses, feeling Jihoon’s dick move in him. “Don’t fucking move, my asshole is about to rip open. I’ll get it.” 

Later, Soonyoung is breathing heavily, holding perfectly still when Jihoon bottoms out, and when his hips shift just slightly, Soonyoung swears he’s never going to let Jihoon put his dick inside of him ever again. 

“Fuck, why can’t your dick be smaller?” Soonyoung angrily mutters, eyes still scrunched closed as he waits to adjust. 

“Sorry. You're doing so good, baby boy.” Jihoon smirks, hands playing with Soonyoung’s ass. Soonyoung begins to tear up, because it still hurts and God, he hates Lee Jihoon so much because they’re not even doing anything yet and he can tell Jihoon’s on cloud nine.

He fumbles with the lube, squeezing some on his hands and reaching back to rub it around the base of Jihoon’s dick and his asshole. He’s desperate for some pleasure, anything to relieve the pain, so as soon as he’s done lubing Jihoon’s dick, he reaches for his own, pumping slowly. 

Eventually, the pain starts to ease, and Jihoon’s hands are rubbing his hips comfortingly, slowly rocking him back and forth until Soonyoung lifts his hips halfway up, and sinks back down. It still hurts a little, but if he’s learned anything from porn, it’s to keep going until the tip of Jihoon’s cock hits his prostate and he’s seeing stars. 

So he bites his lip through the pain, muffling his cries with Jihoon’s mouth and when it finally happens, Soonyoung gasps, moving his hips faster. His hair is damp with sweat and he feels disgusting because it’s all hot and absolutely nothing like in the movies, but Jihoon’s moaning his name and calling him Baby boy, and he loves it too much.

They don’t last too long as amateurs. Soonyoung comes first, spurting streaks of white on his hand and Jihoon’s stomach. It takes a few more seconds till Jihoon comes into the condom, the rolling and clenching of Soonyoung’s orgasm making it impeccably tight. 

The feeling of Jihoon slipping out of Soonyoung is weird, and Soonyoung doesn’t like how open and exposed he feels, so he immediately climbs under the covers, exhausted. He closes his eyes, and waits until Jihoon’s back in the bed, hands reaching for his waist. 

He gets what those people in the movies felt, how they get all cuddly post-orgasm, because all he wants to do is hold Jihoon and sleep for the next two weeks. He’s tired, and so is Jihoon, but there are words that are bubbling at his throat and before Soonyoung’s brain can process it to filter, he’s blurting them out.

“I love you.” He whispers. 

Jihoon goes frigid, suddenly pulling back. “What?” 

Soonyoung’s eyes go wide. Out of all times he’s fucked up in front of Jihoon, this was probably the worst he’s ever done.

“I, um-” He stammers, trying to find an excuse. It was in the heat of the moment, he won’t deny that. But then he stops, taking the time to gaze at the boy before him and only realizes then that he’s practically fallen in love with Jihoon in some fucked up way he can’t even describe. He could take the time to sit back and think through it all, take baby steps all the way back to the day it all began but Soonyoung doesn’t remember. There were just too many moments that have been lost in his memories, too many that could have been out of hatred with a hint of frustration because of worry or jealousy. 

What kind of fucking high school love is this? Where he falls in love with the guy that he fought with since the beginning. Their relationship is emotionally and mentally exhausting. It didn’t even make sense. It doesn’t piece together and Soonyoung begins to regret.

“You’re drunk-” Jihoon finally says, voice sounding a little panicked, as if that was enough to end the conversation. 

“I’m not anymore.” Soonyoung interjects, feeling a little incredulous. Jihoon was avoiding him, and Soonyoung knew exactly why. He just wants Jihoon to admit it because there was no way they’d get over it unless he did. 

“You are,” Jihoon snaps, turning to face the other way. “Go to sleep, m’tired.”

“What the hell is your problem?” Soonyoung’s close to yelling. He’s tired, frustrated, his ass hurts and tomorrow, he probably won’t be able to walk. 

“What the hell is your problem? We’ll talk about it later. I want to sleep for a bit.” Jihoon yawns. It sounds exaggerated because Jihoon is shit at acting. 

“Is it all about you, Jihoon? Is it?” Soonyoung exasperatingly says. “Have you ever maybe thought about me? Wonder why I said that? Thought about how fucking unhealthy this relationship is? We’re literally the epitome of the bad relationships they write about in sex ed, Jihoon!” 

Jihoon doesn’t respond, only shifting to get more comfortable. Soonyoung is irritated and petty, so he takes the blanket and rips it from Jihoon’s body. “Answer me, damn it! I’m talking to you.”

“No, we’re not going to talk about this.” Jihoon snaps, rolling over to face Soonyoung and sit up. He drags his hand down his face and sighs.

It only made Soonyoung more angry. What the hell was that - that stupid body language where he seemed to be finding Soonyoung as a nuisance, as if they hadn’t just had sex and as if Soonyoung hadn’t just confessed, no matter if it was accidental or not.

“Don’t talk about it?” He almost laughs. “Because to be quite honest, I think we should. We need to figure this shit out because I’m not going to continue this. This-” he stammers, what the hell were they now, anyway? “-this stupid friends with benefits relationship where we fuck around one day and then go back to punching each other the next. Because I can’t handle it anymore.”

Soonyoung is panting hard. He’s so angry. So, so angry, and oh God, he just messed everything up even more. 

Jihoon’s cheeks are flushed, the tips of his ears red but he won’t say anything. Soonyoung just wishes he can read Jihoon’s mind so he can clear this up. Does he leave? Or does he stay? All he wants is for Jihoon to admit to his fear. He’s not some sadistic person, it’s for both of their benefits. 

“Fine.” Jihoon snaps. “What’s so important about this that we have to talk about it right now, right here, instead of tomorrow, when we’re both sober?”

“Because I love you, you fucking asstwat.” Soonyoung confesses, fists curled at his sides. “And I don’t know if I should hate that fact or not.”

Jihoon laughs, shaking his head. “You don’t, Soonyoung. You’re only saying that because I put my dick in you.”

Oh, so now Jihoon was belittling his feelings? Fuck that. He knows he should be more patient and more understanding but he can’t anymore. When Jihoon’s stubborn, he won’t give up. Soonyoung gets up, searching the dark room for his clothes. “You know what? Tonight was a bad idea. I should have never come.” 

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon sighs, rubbing his temples. “Let’s just go to sleep or something.”

“I choose or something. You won’t even let me explain, won’t even explain yourself.” Soonyoung finds his shirt and pants, putting them on in record time as he heads towards Jihoon’s door. “I’ll see you at practice or something. I don’t know.” He opens the door and lets it fall shut behind him, blinking away frustrated tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact i used the word "dick" 17 times in this chapter when i first drafted it what a coinkydink -trin
> 
>  **also!!** calli and i opened an ask.fm so if you guys have any questions or just want to chat, head on over! we'd love to talk and get to know you all! [here's](https://ask.fm/calliniti) the link! 
> 
> and lastly, pls give a shout out to calli for surviving and kicking finals' ass last week!! and pls wish me luck because mine are this week, ha... ha...
> 
> good luck to anyone else that has tests, quizzes, finals, anything of that sort, or with school and life in general~ we love you guys <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I, uh, just had something... to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long to update....life happened lmao. also, don't forget to hit us up on twitter or tumblr. we'd love to talk to you, and we're really friendly we promise. -calli
> 
> trin's twitter: @chyeollin  
> trin's tumblr: jeonkwons
> 
> calli's twitter: @bxckybarnes  
> calli's tumblr: 1-800woozi

It's been a week.

A week since he and Soonyoung last spoke, save for hockey practices and forced classroom group work. It's been a week, and Jihoon misses him more than he ever thought he was capable of.

_I love you._

He hasn't slept well since that stupid, stupid party. Every time Jihoon closes his eyes, all he can see is Soonyoung crying, flushed and angry. It hurts, and he doesn't understand.

How did he go from hating Soonyoung to wanting to kiss him 24/7, to wanting to hold hands and take naps together? It doesn't make any fucking sense. And besides, Soonyoung definitely hates him for real now. I deserve it, Jihoon tells himself, head low and buried in his textbook. I’m a fucking shitty human being.

Toward the end of the week Jihoon ends up telling Junhui everything, sick of the worried glances his friend frequently sends his way. He regrets it immediately, sensing the inevitable lecture he’s going to get.

“Jihoon,” Junhui starts, voice careful. “You need to talk to him.”

Jihoon growl-screams, smushing his face into his hands. “ _I know_. I know.”

“You had sex with him and-”

“-Yeah _thanks_ , how could I forget?”

His voice is rising, barely contained hysteria raising his voice a couple pitches higher.

“-Drunk sex, Jihoon. You have to do something. Get your head out of your ass and take responsibility.”

“I’m such an awful person.”

“Kinda.”

Jihoon shoots him a glare, huffing softly when Junhui just shrugs.

“I mean, he confessed his love for you and you shot him down, so yeah, you're kind of an asshole. More than an asshole, but I'm trying to be as nice as possible, Jihoon.”

“Whatever,” Jihoon mumbles, flopping face down onto Junhui’s soft mattress.

“Talk to him,” Junhui repeats, voice gentle. A hand goes to rub soothing circles between the smaller boy’s shoulder blades. “It's the best thing to do.”

“And the hardest.”

“Yeah.”

 

Jihoon tries.

He practices what to say, hides his curled fists in his pockets because he doesn’t want Soonyoung to think he’s angry or something, he’s more scared than anything. His fingers twitch, because he’s growing impatient. Jihoon wants to get this over with as quick as possible, but he forces himself to sit down, take a deep breath, and think of Soonyoung.

It doesn’t help that much. All he can think about are all the bad things he’s done to Soonyoung, and wow, never has Jihoon felt so terribly about himself before.  
His heart pounds as he imagines walking up to Soonyoung, working hard to ignore the desire to run away from it all, from his teammate and this stupid infatuation he’s got going on. But he wants to know why, figure it out once and for all because damn it, he really misses Kwon Soonyoung.

It doesn’t go anything like how Jihoon had planned. Soonyoung stands before him, eyes narrow and guarded, studying Jihoon’s movements, so Jihoon does his best to channel his adrenaline somewhere else, anywhere but his shuffling feet.

“What’s up?” Soonyoung asks carefully, voice laced with polite concern. Jihoon hates how nice he’s attempting to be even after all that had happened. He wants screaming, yelling, the feel of a fist to the jaw. Those things are easy, familiar. This is not.

“I, uh, just had something... to tell you.” Jihoon says, stumbling, well aware that one slip up could send his confidence spiraling down the drain or send Soonyoung out of reach for good, easily slipping through Jihoon’s fingers when he had so much time to grab and hold on.

Soonyoung nods, motioning for him to continue with a small, forced smile. Jihoon drops his eyes, and pinches his thigh from in his pocket. He takes a breath.

“Look, I fucked up. Big time. I shouldn’t have said those things, and I'm a fucking shitty person for doing so. I’m not good at these things, and I know you know I’m terrified. I panicked because I wasn’t ready, I was unsure and confused and-”

“You don’t think I didn’t feel the same exact way?” Soonyoung whispers, twisting his fingers. 

His eyes are downcast, filled with tears. Jihoon hates that Soonyoung still looks beautiful crying.

“I’m scared too, Jihoon. Because what the fuck is this? What are we? And when you just brushed it off… I was too angry to realize we were both still drunk.” Soonyoung laughs suddenly and looks up at him. “So it’s fine, Jihoon. We’re emotional teenagers, it’s the norm to raise hell and get confused. It’s all part of life.”

No, no, no, Soonyoung was taking this all wrong. He wasn’t here to spout some nonsense apology for the sake of their team or his pride. He was here to ask for forgiveness and confess the love he should have done the night Soonyoung did.

“No, wait, I’m not-”

“Then _what_ , Jihoon? Hockey practice starts in five minutes and neither of us are even dressed.” Soonyoung sighs, exasperated.

And that was all it took. Jihoon’s thoughts go haywire. Screw the plan. He was going in impromptu.

“I love you.”

“...Excuse me?”

Jihoon gnaws on his lip, the urge to just fucking bolt thrumming hard in his veins. “I love you. I love you, and I should have said it sooner, like when you told me you loved me and I’m sorry, okay? I will never not be sorry. For every time I hit you, or called you names, or _god_ , for having sex with you when you were drunk. I-”

Soonyoung holds up a hand, effectively making Jihoon’s heart skip a couple of beats.  
“Stop, stop. Jihoon, it's okay. I forgive you. And we’ll figure it all out. We have time, I promise you.”

“I'm so sorry,” Jihoon mumbles, hating how tears prick at his eyes, hot and relentless.

Soonyoung holds out his hand. “Let's start over.”

Jihoon smiles a little, hastily wiping the tears from his eyes and cheeks as he grabs Soonyoung’s hand. “Okay. I’m Jihoon. Hi.”

“Hey, Jihoon. I’m Soonyoung.”

They don't let go of each other's hands until practice ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap. holy shit. that's the end of hockey au. i'm honestly really sad it's over but really happy because you guys were so nice and kind and loving i wanna hug you all. thank you so much for supporting this fic and giving it love, calli and i are truly grateful for all the love and attention you all gave it. hoecky boys finally got their shit together :") love y'all -trin
> 
> i can't believe it's over???? this has been so much fun to write, and i will forever be in awe of all the kindness and love we recieved. thank you guys so, so much for commenting, bookmarking, subscribing, giving kudos, etc. this fic definitely wouldn't have made it this far without you guys, and i'm so thankful for every single one of you.♡ -calli
> 
> p.s.: keep a close look out for new fics from trin and i, ur fav duo....who knows what's next???? (answer: we do. *cough* vampire au *cough*)


	23. Epilogue: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can I kiss you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay listen,, , i write angst & i love pain. fluffy soft stuff is trin's thing so if this sucks im s o r r y -calli

“This is so dumb.”

“You like it, shut up.”

Jihoon grimaces as a tiny girl whizzes by in a blur, wobbling on her skates even as she lets loose loud giggles.

“Little banshee,” Jihoon grumbles, annoyed.

Soonyoung snickers, swinging their intertwined hands between them. “You’re a grumpy old man.”

“Am not!”

Jihoon breaks free of Soonyoung’s hand, spinning so he's skating backwards. He full-on pouts, tugging at his beanie cutely until it covers his pink tipped ears.

“Stop making that face, oh my god.”

“I'm not a grumpy old man.”

“I take it back,” Soonyoung relents, laughing in exasperation. “You're not. Happy?”

“Yes,” Jihoon says decisively, skating circles around his boyfriend just to annoy him.

“Wow, look.”

There's a woman in the middle of the three sections that make up the rink, the one blocked off to ensure little kids won't slip in and get hurt by the figure skaters. She's spinning, slowly picking up speed until her skates leave the ground and she's airborne, landing smoothly a moment later, skates cutting the ice like butter.

“That's so cool,” Jihoon breathes. “I wish I was that graceful, fuck.”

“I used to do that,” Soonyoung blurts, mouth moving before he can think. But Jihoon had looked so...so in _awe_ and all Soonyoung could think of is how he wanted to be the cause of that expression.

“No way,” Jihoon says, swatting at his arm. “Don't lie to your boyfriend, god. What kind of-”

“Seriously,” Soonyoung insists, pulling the smaller boy with him as he beelines for the center rink. “Watch.”

So Jihoon does, face sceptical. Except Soonyoung actually does the _thing_ , spinning and leaping, moving his feet so fast it hurts just to look at. It goes on for bit, ice dust sparkling like tiny diamonds every time Soonyoung leaps into the air. Until of course, Soonyoung overshoots his weight and flies onto his butt, giggling as Jihoon skates over to help him up, pulling them back onto the main rink.

“You were so good!” Jihoon says in between laughs. “It was amazing.”

A blush. “Thanks, I-”

A ten-year old kid speeds past, knocking into Jihoon hard enough to send him stumbling to the ground.

“Dammit,” Jihoon hisses, dusting himself off before darting to catch up with the boy.

“Jihoon, no-”

 

They get kicked out.

“-earn how to read, as the sign clearly says no speed-skating. Or fighting, for that matter.”

“Sorry,” the two boys say in unison, skates slung over their necks. “we won't do it again.”

“Sure,” the worker says, scoffing as the door shuts.

“Now what,” Soonyoung asks, frowning.

Jihoon shrugs. “We could go back to my house. My parents are gone. Some wine party thing.”

 

“Sorry I got us kicked out,” Jihoon says later, cozy in dark grey lounge pants and a black t-shirt. “It wasn't a good first date, was it.”

“Stop. It was perfect. Besides, I think I like this better,” Soonyoung mumbles, pulling Jihoon closer to his chest.

There's some movie playing in the background, but neither of them are paying attention, too busy talking and joking. It's nice, feels a little _too_ domestic, but Jihoon thinks he could stay like this forever and be the happiest he's ever been. Maybe that's why he blurts out what he does, the small request making him blush harder than saying ‘I love you’ did.

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

“Can I...kiss...you.”

Soonyoung looks a little bemused, and Jihoon is so fucking _gone_ for this boy, the dim lighting making him glow, all warm caramel and rosy cheeks, the faint scent of Jihoon’s body wash lingering around him, blankets twisted around his thighs.

“Yeah.”

It's different for some reason, and it hits Jihoon like a freight train that this is their first kiss. Their first official kiss, without anger or hate or alcohol muddling their emotions. So he keeps it soft, barely even a brush of their lips, fingers coming up to tangle in the soft, dark hair at Soonyoung’s nape.

“I love you,” Jihoon says, because it feels right, because he does, because he will say those words over and over until he dies with it. “Love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you more than more.”

“I love you…’til infinity.”

“I love you ‘til infinity and...and beyond.”

“Oh my god, Jihoon. that's not even a thing.”

“Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls anticipate part 2 thanks


	24. Epilogue: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Soonyoung,” Jihoon sighs, fingers grabbing cold air as Soonyoung detaches himself and disappears silently. “where did you go? Can I take this off?”

Soonyoung is insufferable. 

He barrels through Jihoon’s open dorm, takes him by the hand wearing the warm smile that Jihoon has grown to love extremely, and leads him out to his janky truck that Jihoon still doesn’t trust. But Jihoon lets him anyway, because he knows if he doesn’t, Soonyoung would throw a fit. 

As Soonyoung proceeds with his normal, everyday routine (leaning over to buckle Jihoon in just so he can steal a kiss while he’s at it, and Jihoon will never admit it out loud but he lives for these sweet moments), he also pulls a beanie onto Jihoon’s head, tugs it down past his eyes and sneaks another kiss. Jihoon grimaces, unhappy with his vision being obscured because it made him feel uneasy. “Where are we going?”

Soonyoung slips his hand into Jihoon’s to reassure his safety despite his dying truck and says, “You’ll see.” 

  
  
  


When Soonyoung finally lets him take off the beanie, Jihoon finds them parked in front of their old high school, next to the school’s rink. He opens his mouth to carefully speak, worried that he might overlook Soonyoung’s intentions. “Not that I hate this place but, why are we back here?”

It’s true, he didn’t exactly  _ hate _ the school. He had a few memories here that he’d like to forget but Soonyoung seems excited from the way he rushes over to Jihoon’s side and pushes him along to the doors of the arena. 

With Soonyoung clinging onto him from behind, hands shoved into the pocket of Jihoon’s hoodie, they both waddle their way through the lobby to the rink and that’s when Soonyoung stops them, fingers almost jabbing him in the eye when they reach up to pull the beanie back down to cover his eyes. 

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon sighs, fingers grabbing cold air as Soonyoung detaches himself and disappears silently. “where did you go? Can I take this off?”

“Not yet!” Soonyoung shouts from what sounds like across the rink. Jihoon pats around and feels with his feet carefully till he finds a bench and takes a seat. “Wait there! I just need a few more seconds.” 

So, Jihoon waits. He thinks about teasing Soonyoung and counting aloud to three to give him the time he requested but instead keeps his mouth shut. It was their first year anniversary today, and Jihoon promised himself last week that he was going to be a “good” boyfriend today and not drag Soonyoung’s ass like he normally does. 

He’s now ninety-nine point nine percent sure that Soonyoung brought him here for some sort of gift in celebration of their one year together. It was too obvious with the way Soonyoung couldn’t contain his excitement; the drumming of his fingers on the back of Jihoon’s hand, the quiet giggles on the way here, and the blind-folding. 

Seconds later, there’s the sound of skates clicking against the floor as Soonyoung runs back to Jihoon and takes him by the hand, out of breath. “Okay, so,” He leads him to another seat, “wait here until I tell you to take off the blindfolds, okay?”

Jihoon nods and decides to play dumb. “Are you skating without me or something?”

“You’ll see.” Soonyoung breathes, planting a kiss on Jihoon’s forehead and laughing as the clicks descend downwards and Jihoon hears the faintest swish of skates cutting through ice. 

It goes on for a few minutes till Soonyoung hits the barrier and shouts, “You can look now!” 

Jihoon peels off the hat, eyes blinking to readjust to the lighting as he stands and peers into the rink. It takes him a moment to see but when he does, mouth falls open in surprise as he reads the “I love you, Lee Jihoon” scratched into the fresh layer of ice with Soonyoung’s skates. His boyfriend stands next to the heart beside his name with a grin and beckons him with open arms. 

Jihoon rolls his eyes and jumps over the bench in front of him, runs down the steps, through the half-door and slides into Soonyoung’s arms. The impact is harder than he thought, and with his street shoes, friction ceases to slow him down and he collides into Soonyoung. His feet slide out from beneath him and just before he falls, he grabs Soonyoung by the jacket on instinct. 

Soonyoung’s body knocks the breath out of him when he collapses on top, eyes wide in surprise. Jihoon had been fast to react and lift his head to avoid a possible concussion but he doesn’t escape all injuries as he knocks his forehead against Soonyoung’s instead. 

They stare at each other for a second or two, worried that the other was hurt but then Soonyoung breaks out into laughter, rubbing the red spot on Jihoon’s forehead. “Happy anniversary, Jihoon.” 

Jihoon smiles, fisting his hands into Soonyoung’s jacket to pull him down for a kiss. Soonyoung’s mouth is hot and impatient, almost begging for more but Jihoon pulls away, wanting to ask him, “How did you manage to get a fresh layer of ice for this?”

Soonyoung shrugs, “I have my connections.” He grunts as he stands up, pulling Jihoon with him and dusting off his backside. Jihoon raises a brow. “How much did you pay Seungcheol to convince our manager to run the zamboni?” 

“Two weeks worth of free laundry and VIP access to my suite’s bathroom but it’s worth it, really.” Soonyoung answers immediately, but then pauses, asking cautiously. “You like it though, right?”

Jihoon reaches up to flatten Soonyoung’s hair that seemed to have a mind of its own and says, “Of course, I do. But now I feel like my present is insignificant.”

“Well,” Soonyoung skates around him once, “no matter what it is, I’ll love it.” 

“Oh, I’m sure you will.” Jihoon mumbles, smiling to himself. 

“Not to be needy or anything but when are you gonna give it to me?” Soonyoung asks, now playing with Jihoon’s fingers. 

Jihoon retracts his hand and places them on Soonyoung’s pink cheeks. “If you want it now, I can give it to you.”

“You have it?” Soonyoung glances at Jihoon’s seemingly empty pockets. 

Jihoon hums in affirment, and taps Soonyoung’s mouth before leaning in for another kiss, this time, sliding his hands up to card his fingers through Soonyoung’s hair. He works Soonyoung’s lips till they’re swollen and red and fuck, that’s such a look on his boyfriend. Soonyoung’s eyes are dazed and there’s a dopey smile on his face and Jihoon finds it all too endearing. “Fuck, you’re so cute.” He mumbles, pinching Soonyoung’s cheek. “I love you, Kwon.”

Soonyoung pinches Jihoon’s cheek in return. “And I love you as well, Lee.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, well... this is it. we're actually done now, no more surprise chapters or epilogue 2.0. i'm actually so sad, it was super fun writing this. thank you all so much for subscribing, leaving comments and kudos! calli and i really appreciate it. literally to like pluto and back. love y'all <3 -trin


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